Even if someone was abused as a child, it doesn’t mean that they will realise this now that they are an adult. What happened during their early years could be a mystery to them or they could make out that their childhood wasn’t that bad.
Still, while they won’t remember much of what actually took place at this stage of their life, it doesn’t mean that what took place won’t affect them. They could have a number of different issues that more or less prove that they were abused as a child.
Unable To Join the Dots
When it comes to the issues that they have, some of these issues might not even stand out. Due to how long they have had them for, they will have just become part of who they are as opposed to an issue that they have.
As for the issues that they are aware of, they might not know why they have them. Or, they could believe that the reason they experience life in this way is because of something else entirely.
If they don’t know why they have certain issues, it could show that they haven’t done any research. Perhaps they are just tolerating what is going on and haven’t felt the call to take a deeper look.
On the other hand, if they believe that what they are going through is because of something else, it may show that they have looked through mainstream sources of information. These sources won’t have touched upon child abuse and the impact that it can have on someone.
One may have heard that the reason that they experience life in this way is due to their DNA or it could come down to them having a ‘chemical imbalance’. Along with this, they may have read that the issues that they have are just part of the human experience.
It is then not that they have gone through anything that was particularly traumatic; it is just that they have issues like everyone else. In this regard, there is nothing abnormal about what they are going through.
The Next Phase
Irrespective of what they come to believe, they won’t be able to deal with the real reason why they are the way that they are. Naturally, the only way this will happen is if they become aware of what this reason is.
Thanks to this, it will like having a car that has an engine that doesn’t work and trying to repair the car by giving it a paint job. No matter how good the car looks at the end, it won’t have resolved the issue.
A Closer Look
If someone like this was asked to describe the issues that they have, they could talk about mental and emotional problems, physical problems, relationships problems and learning difficulties. It could be a real challenge for them to function or they might just be able to handle life.
Their life is then going to be anything but pleasurable; it could be as if they are living in hell. And if they can just about handle life, there could be moments when they fall right down.
When it comes to the mental and emotional challenges that they have, they could spend a lot of time feeling depressed and struggle to feel good about themselves. Their energy is then not going to be good and their self-worth will be nonexistent.
In general, their mind could be out of control, with them having the tendency to experience a lot of negative thoughts and scenarios. Fear, anxiety and even terror could also be something that they are used to experiencing.
If they have suicidal thoughts and feelings, this could be due to the fact that they feel so worthless that they can’t see a way forward. Or, the pain that they are in could be so unbearable that they just want to be free from it.
As for physical problems, there may be moments when they have lower back pain, sciatica, migraines, stomach problems, weight problems and/or throat problems, amongst other things. Over the years, they may have taken all kinds of medication to try to deal with these symptoms.
Connections with Others
If they are in an intimate relationship, they might be with someone who is not a match for them or who is abusive. Their partner, along with other people, could have the tendency to walk all over them.
Deep down, they might not believe that they deserve to be with someone who is right for them or to be treated well by others. Conversely, they might find it hard to connect with others and do what they can to avoid people.
The Last Part
What they may find is that it is hard for them to learn new things and to remember what they do learn. It could be as if what they learn goes into their mind and then comes straight back out again.
They may have often been accused of not listening or paying attention when they were at school; when in reality, they just couldn’t retain what they heard or read. This can show that their hippocampus was damaged at the beginning of their life.
If one has lost touch with what took place when they were younger, it can show that their mind has blocked it out in order to protect them. Furthermore, blocking out what took place can allow them to see their parents in a positive light.
Therefore, if this idealised image of their parents was to go and they were to remember what took place, they could end up being overwhelmed with pain. The pain that they are in will be bad, but it is likely to be even worse if this was to happen.
If one can relate to this, and they have suffered enough, they will probably need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.