What can make it more or less impossible for someone to feel comfortable in their own skin and to be grateful for the life that they have been given is if they feel worthless. Through feeling this way, their life can be unbearable and being alive can feel like a curse, not a blessing.
To say that one will just feel worthless, however, might not be completely accurate. The reason for this is that along with feeling worthless, it could be as if this is something that has permeated their whole being.
Consequently, one could believe that it doesn’t matter what they do as they will always feel this way. There will then be something inherently wrong with them and there will be absolutely nothing that they can do about it.
Having come to this conclusion, it is not going to be a surprise if they spend a lot of time feeling depressed. They will believe that they have to put up with how things are.
A Hopeless Place
If there are moments when they do feel good about themselves, it might only be because they have taken something or had something to drink, for instance. They can then feel as though they are on top of the world, only to come crashing down shortly after.
At the same time, they might not feel as though they are on top of the world, they might just feel human. How they feel when they take something can then be very similar to how another person typically feels about themselves – with this being someone who doesn’t feel worthless.
Their Own Worst Enemy
And as they feel so low, they might not even notice it when another person teats them badly. A small part of them might not feel comfortable being treated this way, but a big part of them will.
The people in their life might not treat them very well and they might even be in an abusive relationship. Even so, compared with how they talk to and treat themselves, what takes place externally could pale in comparison.
Nonetheless, as it will be a lot easier to other people to become aware of what is going on externally, they might be used to being told that they are unlucky and gain a fair amount of sympathy from others. If one has a victim mentality, these messages can strengthen what they believe about themselves.
While people like this might have good intentions, they can inadvertently make it harder for one to change their life. If ones inner world was different, there is a strong chance that their outer world would be different too.
In order for someone like this to change their life, they will need to detach from what is taking place inside them. When this takes place, they will be able to look into what they can do to change their life.
When this happens, it will show that a small part of them won’t believe that they are worthless. And even though this part of them will be small, it will give them the impetus that they need to find a way to change their life.
If they were to reach out for support, they could end up going online or buying a book at their local book shop, for instance. One could be told that what is taking place in their mind is the problem and that they need to change their thoughts and behaviour.
Focusing on what is taking place up top might allow them to gradually transform their life or it might not. If this approach doesn’t work, it could be due to the fact that they are carrying trauma.
Back In Time
What this may illustrate is that the reason they feel so bad about themselves is due to what took place during their early years. This may have been a time when they experienced some kind of abuse.
As they were egocentric at this stage of their life, they would have believed that they were being treated badly because they were bad. Their whole being would have ended up being flooded with toxic shame.
A Deep Wound
The love, care and support that they needed to develop self-love wouldn’t have been provided. Based on what took place, it will be perfectly normal for them to have a faulty view of themselves and to feel worthless.
Like a parasite, this toxic shame, and the accompanying feelings, will have taken over and made it difficult for them to see clearly. In a way, it will be as if the trauma that inside them has put them in a trance.
But, respective of how long they have experienced life in this way for, it doesn’t mean that their life has to stay this way forever. With the desire to change their life and the right support, there is no reason why their life can’t be transformed.
This is likely to be something that takes courage and patience and persistence, but it will be worth it in the long run. The assistance of a therapist or a healer may be needed here.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.