If someone had a traumatic childhood, they may be in a very bad way now that they are an adult. Their early years would then have been incredibly difficult and now that they are an adult their life won’t be much better.
What this could mean is that this was a time in their life when they experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect. Either way, this would have been a time in their life when they were worn down, not built up.
Life Carried On
However, even though this would have been a time when they didn’t receive what they needed in order to develop in the right way, time wouldn’t have stopped. The years would have passed and there would have come a point in time when they were no longer a child.
Like their childhood years, their adult years will also be a time when they are ill-equipped to handle the challenges that arise. Getting out of bed each day could be hard enough, without dealing with the responsibilities of being an adult.
As a result, they will have to do the best that they can to keep going and not to end their life. The reason for this is that they could be in so much pain that their life is anything but fulfilling.
At the same time, they may have the tendency to disconnect from how they feel, thereby allowing them to live a fairly ‘normal’ life. One could then be someone who is fairly productive and is able to make a good living, for instance.
Nonetheless, it could be a challenge for them to have fulfilling relationships, with this being an area of their life that is not going well. Unlike their career, this won’t be an area that they are able to change through force.
This area of their life will require emotional intelligence and as they are shut-down, they won’t be able to connect at an emotional level. Furthermore, they won’t be able to open up and be vulnerable.
Yet, when they are not operating in this way, their experience on this earth could be very similar to the persons experience above. Just like them, one could feel really low and find it hard to get themselves moving.
Also, they could feel worthless and as though they have no value. When they are not in this phase they could see themselves as being more-than others, but when they are, they could see themselves as being less-than others.
Whether one feels down most of the time or only now and then, it doesn’t mean that they will understand why their life is this way. Thanks to how long their life has been this way, this could just be seen as how life is.
Along with this, they could have a victim mentality, believing that someone or something out there is making their life difficult. Therefore, whenever something goes wrong or if they don’t have something, it won’t be because they have played a part.
In A Prison
If this is so, they are going to have problems but they won’t believe that they can do anything about what is taking place. They will then be free to do something about their life, but it will be as if they are trapped.
What can also play a part here is that their early years may have caused them to feel completely powerless. Deep down, they are not going to believe that they can do anything to change their life.
If they were to take a step back and to reflect on the thoughts and feelings that they have and on how they behave, they may start to see why their life is the way it is. The trouble is that as they experienced a lot of trauma during their early years, the parts of their brain that would allow them to experience self-awareness may have been damaged.
Consequently, the very thing that would allow them to gradually change their life won’t be available to them. Some of the people in their life might be able to see why their life is the way it is, but they won’t be able to see it.
The Way Forward
Fortunately, even if their brain was damaged during this time, it doesn’t mean that there is nothing that they can do to change it. There is a strong chance that their brain can change, allowing them to develop self-awareness in the process.
One way that this can take place is by meditating. So by taking the time to do this a few times a week and for a certain period of time each time, they may find that they start to develop the ability to step back and to be aware of themselves.
This will be what brings them out of the dark and shines the light on why their life is the way it is. Still, this doesn’t mean that they will develop self-awareness and that will be it, as this will be a lifelong process.
No matter how aware they become, they will most likely always have blind spots. Nevertheless, having even a small amount of self-awareness will be far better than having no self-awareness whatsoever.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.