Child Abuse: Can Someone Believe That They Don’t Deserve To Receive Anything If They Were Abused As A Child?
If someone was to step back and to take a closer look at their own life, they may see that their life is out of balance. The reason for this is that they might give a lot but they might rarely receive anything back.
Through living in this way, they will almost certainly be used to running on empty. They may have trouble receiving what they need to survive, let alone to thrive, and this is going to cause them to suffer.
Now, although this could be something that the people in their life are aware of, there is also the chance that they are not. But, even if the people in their life are aware of this, it doesn’t mean that they will know exactly what is going on.
As far as these people are concerned, one could just be seen as being ‘unlucky’ or ‘unfortunate’. Consequently, one could be seen as someone who needs to be saved/rescued.
A Dysfunctional Dynamic
If this is so, it could mean that one is used to being around people who appear to have it all together and who try to fix them. Here, part of them might appreciate what they do for them and part of them might find it a bit too much.
It could be as though these people don’t respect their boundaries and get too involved in their life. Being treated in this way is likely to mean that they spend a fair amount of time feeling frustrated and angry.
An Endless Amount of Approval
Regardless of whether they spend time around people who are like this or not, they may receive a lot of positive feedback. This could one of the few things that they don’t have trouble receiving.
If they could trade this approval in for other things, they probably wouldn’t be in the position that they are in. Unfortunately, this is not going to be something that is possible, which is why it won’t do much for them.
If they were to put what is taking place externally to one side and to also put their anger and frustration to one side, it will give them the chance to look into why their life is the way that it is. At this point, it might seem strange as to how looking inside themselves will shed light on why their life is this way.
If this is the case, it can show that they see themselves as nothing more than a powerless victim. What is going on ‘out there’ will then be something that is completely out of their control.
In the Driver’s Seat
However, the truth is that what is going on ‘out there’ is a reflection of what is taking place inside them. Therefore, in order for their life to truly change, they will need to deal with what is causing them to experience life in this way.
One thing that they could do is to ask themselves if they believe that they deserve to receive things in general and to receive good things. At first, their mind could kick in and say that they do but, if they were to go a little deeper, they could experience a very different response.
Shinning the Light
During this time, they may come into contact with a lot of toxic shame and feel as though they don’t deserve anything. A deep sense of being unworthy of receiving anything and of life itself could fill their being.
It will then be clear that even though they are on this earth, they don’t believe that they deserve to be here and to experience all that life has to offer. Due to this, it won’t matter what they do or what they contribute as it won’t change what they believe.
Back In Time
What this may show is that their early years were a time when they were basically treated like dirt. Perhaps one or both of their caregivers abused and/or neglected them on a weekly, if not daily, basis.
This would have meant that they didn’t receive the love, care and nurturance that they needed to be able to develop in the right way. They wouldn’t have developed a felt sense of self-love or self-worth.
What they went through during this stage of their life wasn’t their fault and they didn’t deserve to be treated in this way, but as they were egocentric, what took place would have been personalised. As a result of this, what took place would have defined their view of themselves.
Taking all this into account, it is not much of a surprise that one doesn’t believe that they deserve to receive anything. Without realising it, their being will have been hijacked by false beliefs and trauma.
If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.