Child Abuse: Can Someone Have The Need To Always Be On The Go If They Were Abused As A Child?

What can be normal is for someone to spend most of their waking hours on the go. So, from morning until night, they are seldom going to just be, and, even if they were to sit down, they might not be able to simply relax.

To settle themselves down, they might need to have something to drink or even take something. By drinking alcohol or taking some kind of medication, they will be able to relax.

General Outlook

If they were asked about why they are practically always doing things, they could say that life is too short to sit around, or something similar. Not being on the go is then going to be seen as a total waste of time.

When they do sit down and are not doing anything, this could be a time when they feel irritable. Therefore, the sooner they are able to get moving, the sooner they will be able to feel more at ease.

Uppers

To help them to maintain this way of living, they could spend a lot of time drinking coffee and/or energy drinks. More or less as soon as they wake up, they could have a coffee and they could continue to have them throughout the day.

By being so wired up, it is likely to be a challenge for them to fall asleep at night. This can be a time when their mind is racing and all the things that they didn’t do and need to do the next day could consume their mind.

The Wrong Mode

Naturally, if they are in doing mode for most of the day and going into being mode is extremely difficult for them, it is to be expected that they will struggle during this time. To use an analogy; it will be like turning up a wind-up toy and expecting the toy not to move.

What could end up taking place, if this hasn’t occurred already, is that they could end up taking something else to settle them down. By taking a downer, they may find that they are soon able to fall asleep.

Positive feedback

Thanks to how much time they spend doing things, regardless of the issue that they may have when it comes to having enough sleep, they might have been able to achieve a lot. This could mean that they will have a successful career and even drive an expensive car and have a big house, for instance.

In the eyes of a lot of people, then, they are likely to be seen as an example to follow. And, if they are a high-functioning member of society, they may often be seen as someone who is well-adjusted.

Another Area
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When it comes to their relationships, however, this might be an area of their life that lacks depth. Most of the people in their life could be more like associates and they might not be in a romantic relationship.

If they are in a romantic relationship, this might be a time when they primarily share their body and mind but not much else. It can then be a relationship that looks good from the outside but is not built on anything substantial.

Too Much

Now, there could come a point in time when they are no longer able to live in this way and feel totally burnt out. This could be something that takes place in their thirties, forties or fifties or when they are older.

Alternatively, they could continue to live in this way after they have had at least one moment when they were burnt out and in doing so, get to the point where they end up in such a bad way that they are unable to do a great deal. In other words, their health could be greatly undermined, leaving them with no other choice than to spend a lot of time sitting around.

What’s going on?

If they do end up being burnt out and they end up reflecting on their life, they could wonder what is going on. They might see that they have been this way for as long as they can remember

But, as opposed to them consciously choosing to be this way, they have simply been compelled to be this way. Even now that they are off the treadmill, so to speak, there can be a big part of them that wants to get back on it.

Survival Mode

One way to look at this would be to say that they have spent most of their life in flight mode, and this will show that their sympathetic nervous system is generally activated. Consequently, a big part of them is likely to believe that their life is under threat and this is why they always have to be on the move.

Upon hearing this, they could say that this is crazy and that their life is clearly not under threat. How they are behaving can then be seen as being irrational and having no basis in reality.

Going Deeper

What if although how they are behaving now is irrational, there was a time when it was totally rational? To understand what is going on, it will be necessary for one to see that there is what is going on for them at a conscious level and what is taking place at an unconscious level.

What this means is that, on one level, they are seeing life in one way and, on another level, they are seeing life in another way. The question is why would they believe that their life is under threat at this level of their consciousness?

Back In Time

What this may show is that their early years were a time when they were abused and neglected, which would have deprived them of what they needed. During this stage of their life, it would have felt as though their life was continually under threat.

Being in flight and even fight mode, along with being submissive and going into a frozen state, would have been a normal part of this stage of their life as they would have seldom felt safe enough to settle down and just be. Living on the surface of themselves and being hypervigilant would have been essential for their survival.

Self-Alienation

The pain and arousal that they experienced through living in an environment like this and having at least one parent who was abusive would have automatically been repressed by their brain. Living on the surface of themselves was then a way for them to survive and it was an outcome of the amount of pain that they were in.

This would have meant that they lost touch with their body and with it, their true self. For them to reconnect to their body and become a feeling being once again that is able to just be, they are likely to have a lot of pain and arousal to deal with.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk