Child Abuse: Can Someone Have Trouble Moving Forward If They Were Abused As A Child?

When it comes to the human body, it could be said that it is designed to take someone forward. Of course, they can walk back but it is not as easy as it is for them to walk forward.

Now, although going forward, not backwards is what is supposed to take place, it doesn’t mean that someone will actually be able to move forward in life. Physically, they may be able to walk forward but that could be as far as it will go.

Stuck

Therefore, when it comes to taking action and going after their goals, very little could take place. Based on how they behave, it could be as if they don’t have the ability to go after what it is that they want.

In reality, they will have what it takes to move towards what they want, yet they won’t allow themselves to do this. This doesn’t mean that they will never move and will always be in the same spot; it means that they won’t utilise their ability to take their life forward.

The Same Old Story

As a result of this, their life is likely to be anything but fulfilling; it could seem as though they are experiencing the same day over and over again. Like the film Groundhog Day, then, their life could be incredibly frustrating.

They could have a job that they can’t stand, with it taking far more from them than it gives them. Or, they could do something that they enjoy doing, but they could have been stuck at the same level for a very long time.

Another Area

When it comes to their relationships, they could be with someone who is either abusive or not right for them. Either way, they are going to be with someone who is not a good match for them.

As for their friendships, they might be surrounded by people who have values that are not in alignment with their own. These people are then going to keep them company, but one is unlikely to feel a strong connection to them.

Held Back

If one is not aware of the resistance that is inside them, they could believe that something ‘out there’ is holding them back. Due to this, they could spend a lot of time feeling frustrated, powerless, helpless and hopeless.
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They could even have what is often described as a ‘victim mentality’ where one basically believes that they have no control over their life and that other people are in control of what does or doesn’t happen to them. Consequently, the only way their life will change is if the external world changes.

Going Inside

If one was able to take a step back and to reflect on their life, it would give them the opportunity to find out why their life is the way that it is. At first, they might struggle to understand why it is this way.

During this time, they could imagine themselves moving forward in life and seeing how they feel. This could be something that will cause them to feel good, at least in the beginning.

Further Down

After a while, they may find that they start to feel uncomfortable, even fearful about moving forward. Intellectually, they might struggle to understand why they would feel this way, especially as this is what they want.

If they stay with this and look even deeper, they may find that the reason they feel so fearful about moving forward is because of what took place when they were younger. This may have been a time in their life when they simply didn’t feel safe, secure or protected.

Stuck In The Past

Perhaps this was a time when they experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect. And, as they were so small and powerless, the only way that they would have been able to handle what was taking place would have been to freeze up and/or to dissociate.

Both of these survival mechanisms would have been utilised without them needing to do anything. Quite simply, this would have been a way for them to leave their traumatic environment without actually leaving it and to ensure their survival in the process.

The Association

Due to what their early environment was like, they would have come to believe that it wasn’t safe for them to exist. Being in their body and embracing life would have been seen as something that would cause them to be harmed or to even die.

Many, many years will have past since those years, but being in their body and embracing life will still be perceived in the same way. In other words, their mind will have forgotten yet their body will still remember.

Not Just the Mind

There will be the trauma that they are carrying from their early years and they could spend a lot of time in a frozen state as an adult. Their body will tense up and they won’t be able to move.

A lot of tension could be held in their lower body - in their hips and legs. It will be essential for them to release the trauma that is being held in their nervous system so that they can feel safe and secure in their body and function as a whole human being.

Awareness

If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer. 

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk