The beginning of someone’s life is supposed to be a time when they will receive what they need in order to grow and develop in the right way. When this takes place, their developmental needs are generally going to be met.
As a result of this, they are likely to have the resources that they need to be able to handle life as an adult. This is not to say that nothing bad would have happened to them as a child; what it means is that this wouldn’t have been a time when it was normal for them to suffer.
Through having been able to develop the inner strength during their early years, it will be a lot easier for them to handle challenges. For one thing, one is likely to have the ability to regulate their own emotions.
Along with this, there is a strong chance that they have a strong sense of self, and this will mean that it will be a lot harder for them to be overwhelmed. And as they are likely to feel comfortable with their own needs, they won’t feel the need to do everything by themselves.
If human beings were their own island, it wouldn’t matter if they were able to do this. But as this is not the case, it is going to make their lifer a lot easier than it would be if they felt ashamed of their needs.
One will realise that there is nothing wrong with their needs, and this is why they will feel comfortable enough to reach out to others. In their eyes, having needs could be seen as a normal part of life.
So if one is in a position where they can’t understand something or if something is not working n their life, they won’t feel as though they have to suffer in silence. Being this way is also going to allow them to move forward in their career.
If they want to achieve something or to go to the next level, they will soon be on the lookout for what they can do and/or who can assist them. In addition to this, they will feel comfortable with their need to experience intimacy.
Therefore, if they were to meet someone they like, they won’t need to hold back, or to pretend that they are not interested. They will feel comfortable enough to show their interest and to see if they can take things further.
What will also play a part here is that they will value themselves, and this will allow them to attract people who also value them. It is then not going to be much of a surprise if they have been in a number of relationships that had a positive effect on them.
Part of life
If this is how one generally experiences life, there will be no reason for them to spend too much time thinking about what has taken place. This will just be how their life is, and they are not going to know any different.
When they come into contact with people who experience life differently, they could end up empathising with them and showing compassion. But even if they were to do this, they are not going to truly understand what it is like to be this way.
Now and Then
At the same time, there may have been moments in one’s life when they have had some bad moments. This could have been a time when a relationship came to an end or when someone they were close to passed on.
When this took place, they would have been in pain, and it might have taken a while until they began to feel like themselves again. Fortunately, this is not going to be how they experience life all the time.
But while the ideal will be for someone’s early years to have been a time when they received what they needed in order to grow in the right way, this is not always what takes place. For a lot of people, this would have been a time when they rarely, if ever, got their needs met.
What this can mean is that this was a time when they were abused and/or neglected by the people who were supposed to care for them. So even though they are an adult, it doesn’t mean that they will feel like one.
In A Bad Way
Due to what they went through as a child, it could be a real challenge for them to get through each day. They might not have the ability to regulate their emotions, and this can mean that they are used to experiencing a lot of fear.
And even if they are in touch with their needs, they might not believe that anyone would meet them. There is then chance that they won’t have a strong self of self, and they could feel completely worthless.
It’s Always There
It is then not going to be possible for one to simply move on from what has taken place, and this is because they are in such a bad way. Not only do they remember what happened; they also have a brain and body that has been affected by what took place.
Even so, there may have been times in their life when they have opened up to people and they might not have been able to understand this. One may have been told during this time that they need to ‘move on’ or to ‘let go’ of what took place.
Through hearing this, they might have ended up feeling even worse, and as though they are choosing to suffer. After a while, they might have been able to go back to how they were before.
Alternatively, this could be something that has defined their outlook, and one is then going to be under even more pressure. Thus, even though they are not choosing to experience life in this way, it can be as if this is a choice they have made.
What this shows is how important it is for one to reach out for the right support and to be careful who they open up to. When another person understands what they have been though and what they are going through, they won’t tell them that they need to ‘move on’ or to ‘let go’.
It is vital that one reaches out and doesn’t suffer in silence, as although they couldn’t do anything when they were being abused as a child; they can do something now that they are an adult. The support they need can be provided by a therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.