If someone was abused as a child, they might not realise that this is what actually took place. They can then have a number of different problems, but they won’t be able to join the dots, so to speak.
One can have mental and emotional problems and their relationships can be anything but healthy, amongst other things. Furthermore, experiencing life in this way can simply be what they have become accustomed to.
Therefore, not only won't they realise that their early years were abusive, they won’t realise that what they are going through is not normal. One is then going to have a very miserable existence and it will be as though this is just how life is.
There could be moments when they think about ending their life, with this being seen as the only way for them to experience life differently. Being here will be too painful, so leaving here will be seen as the best thing for them to do.
Then again, one could be only too aware of what took place when they were younger. What they are going through will then be seen as a consequence of what they experienced as a child.
Still, this doesn’t mean that one will understand that their life doesn’t have to stay this way forever. They may believe that there is nothing that they can do about what is taking place.
One Thing in Common
Apart from the fact that both of these people will have had a traumatic childhood, they will also most likely believe that they deserved to be treated in this way. The reason for this is that as a child they would have been egocentric, which would have caused them to take everything personally.
Thus, it was not that there was something wrong with their caregiver’s, it was that there was something inherently wrong with them. In reality, what took place had absolutely nothing to do with them and everything to do with what was going on for their caregiver/s.
If someone like this is able to reach out for support and starts to work through their inner wounds, it can still be a challenge for them to come to terms with what took place. They can wonder why they were treated as they were.
Along with questioning why their parents treated them so badly, they can also question why they had the caregiver/s that they had. In this case, they won’t just be looking into what happened they will also be looking into the bigger picture.
A Deeper Look
If the latter takes place, it could show that they are religious or spiritual. Thanks to what they went through, it might be hard for them to accept that there is a loving being on the other side or a loving presence all around them.
As if there was, they can believe that there would have been no reason for them to have experienced what they went through as a child. Regardless of whether they are religious or spiritual, it can be as if they were cast aside and left to suffer.
From this perspective, one can have a victim mentality that is hard for them to let go off. This will, of course, be supported by all the disempowering beliefs that they formed during their early years.
For no apparent reason, they will have been punished by someone or something. Naturally, it will be perfectly normal for them to experience a fair amount of anger and even rage.
Providing that they continue to work through what comes up and don’t allow themselves to get too attached to this outlook, they may find that they start to view what took place differently. Through carrying less pain, it may open their mind up to seeing what took place in a different light.
Instead of believing that they were being punished, they may come to believe that they needed to go through what they went through in order to experience life in a certain way. In other words, if their early years were different it would have stopped them from being able to achieve what they came here to achieve.
A Higher Perspective
This is an outlook that they wouldn’t have been able to have when they were consumed by their pain. Having this outlook doesn’t mean that they are happy with what took place; it means that they will understand why it had to take place.
They may even believe that before they came here they chose to have this life, something the will prove that they are strong enough to handle it. The experiences that they had as a child would have allowed them to develop things that they probably wouldn’t have been able to develop any other way.
When they get to this stage, what they went through can be seen as a gift as opposed to a curse. They will be able to assist those who are going through what they went through, if they so choose.
To shine the light for those who are caught up in their own wounds and are unable to see a way out. If it wasn’t for what they went through, their ability to do this would be greatly diminished.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.