Child Abuse: What Beliefs Can Someone Have About Other People If They Were Abused As A Child?

If someone was abused and/or neglected as a child, they might not have a favourable view of their fellow human beings. As a result of this, they will be part of the human race but they can feel the need to keep their distance from others.

Through being this way, their life is likely to be far harder than it would be otherwise. Instead of being part of the human race and having other people who are there for them, it can be as if they are all by themselves.

An Analogy

In the same way that an animal might feel completely alone and isolated if they are the only one left on the earth, one can feel the same way. Unlike this animal, however, one will look like others but they still won’t feel as though they have much in common with them.

In general, they might do just about everything that they can do things by themselves and not to need anyone else. One could then be seen as someone who is ‘super independent, for example.

The Norm

And although one could have moments when they step back and wonder why their life is this way, this might not be the case. Due to how long their life has been this way for, they may have become accustomed to experiencing life in this way.

What this can illustrate is that they are not aware of why their life is the way that it is, meaning that they may have forgotten about what took place when they were younger. This is likely to be something that just happened, not something that they consciously decided to do.

Protection

In order to protect them, their mind would have ended up blocking out what took place during their early years. If this hadn’t taken place, there is the chance that they might not even be alive.

Nonetheless, while they won’t be able to remember what took place, what took place is still having an effect on their life. The memories will have been pushed down but one won’t have truly put the past behind them.

Connected

If one is aware of what took place, it doesn’t mean that they will be able to connect the dots, so to speak. What is taking place now that they are an adult can be seen as a continuation of their childhood, but that could be about as far as it will go.

It is then not that their adult life is only the way that it is due to what they experienced as a child; it is that this is just how life is. This can show that one is fully caught up in what took place and hasn’t been able to detach from it.

The Impact

So, in addition of feeling alone and isolated, they could find that whenever they are around others, they typically don’t feel comfortable and find it hard to relax. Being around big groups of people could make them feel incredibly uneasy too.

As for their personal relationships, they might not have anyone in their life that they are close to. If they were to look back on their life, they may see that they have spent time with a number of people that have lacked boundaries and were abusive in some way,.

On Guard

One could live somewhere that is relatively safe and yet, they could spend a lot of time feeling anxious, fearful and being on edge. Based on what often takes place in their mind and their body, it could be as though they are living in a warzone

If this is the case, it is likely to mean that they will be used to experiencing a fair amount of adrenalin. Along with the time that they spend in fight mode, they could often spend time in flight mode, freeze mode and dissociate on a regular basis.

Going In

Due to what they experienced during the beginning of their life, they are likely to be carrying a fair amount of emotional wounds and trauma. Furthermore, there will be the beliefs that they formed.

When it comes to the beliefs that they formed, these would have been conclusions that they came to based on what was taking place. But, while these conclusions would have reflected was going on at this point in time, they are just going to create problems now that they are an adult.

Keeping the Past Alive

Thanks to what they belief, it will be more or less impossible for them to see that not everyone on this planet is like their caregiver/s or anyone else that harmed them. These beliefs will cause them to see other human beings in the same way as they saw these people.

When they were younger, they may have formed some, if not all, of the following beliefs:

• That people can’t be trusted
• That people want to harm them
• That people want to take advantage of them
• That people want to humiliate them
• That people don’t like them
• That people are dangerous
• That it is not safe to exist
• That it is not safe to be seen

Awareness

If won’t matter that these are just beliefs as they will define how one perceives the world, have an effect on the thoughts and feelings that they have, and on the experiences that they have. With this in mind, it will be essential for them to bring these beliefs, along with any others that they have into the light and to question them.
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This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer. Someone like this can also help one to heal their emotional wounds and the trauma that they are likely to be carrying.  

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk