If someone was abused as a child, it could be something that they are only too aware of. Many years will have passed since they were a small child, but it could seem as though very little has actually changed.
They would have gone through hell during this part of their life and they could still be going through hell now. Each day of their life could be a struggle, with them wondering if there is any point in them staying alive.
Conversely, one could have had one hell of a childhood yet they might not have any recollection of what took place. Nonetheless, while they won’t remember what took place, they could still be in a bad way.
The primary difference here could be that one won’t be able to understand why their life is the way that it is. Due to how long their life has been this way for, how they experience life could just be seen as what is normal.
If they were able to take a step back and to reflect on how they experience life, they could start to think about how they have the tendency to have negative thoughts and to feel low. Their biggest battle is then not going to be with anyone out there, it will be with themselves.
Even so, this doesn’t mean that there won’t be people out there who they think are trying to undermine them. But even if there are people like this, these are likely to be an effect of what is taking place internally.
A Negative Voice
If they were to just be with what is taking place in their mind and didn’t try to change it, they might see that they have a strong inner critic. This part of them might lay into them whenever it gets the chance.
From the moment they wake up, until the moment that they fall asleep, this voice could speak to them in a way that makes them feel low, useless and incapable. This voice should be their spur them on and to lift them up when they fall, not the opposite.
With all the negativity that is taking place inside them, it is not going to be a surprise if they find it hard to move forward in life and to create a life that is worth living. Ultimately, they are not going to believe that they deserve to have a life that is like this.
They could then have a job that is not very fulfilling or they might only get so far in their career. If they are in an intimate relationship, they could be with someone who doesn’t treat them very well.
But instead of speaking up and making it clear that how they are being treated is not acceptable, they could just tolerate it. A small part of them might not be happy with what is going on but a bigger part of them could feel comfortable with it.
If they are not treated very well at work or when they are around others, the same thing could take place. One will then be nothing more than a doormat that just puts up with bad behaviour.
The Next Step
After taking a step back and reflecting on how they experience life, it will be a good idea for them to think about what took place when they were younger. It might take them a while to connect to this time, though.
This could show that their mind has created a number of defences in order to protect them from what took place. Thus, as they begin to connect to what took place;they are likely to come into contact with painful memories and the feelings that go with them.
A Rough Time
As this takes place and they get a clearer idea of what happened, it may start to become clear that this was a stage of their life when they were often treated like dirt. One or both of their caregivers, along with others, may have often called them names, criticised them and talked down to them.
This would have been a time in their life when they would have taken everything personally and had no way of knowing that what they were told was not the truth. Ego, it wouldn’t have been possible for them to realise that what they were told had nothing to do with them or their value as a human being.
A Vulnerable Position
What they were told at this stage of their life would have ended up going straight into their being, with their being very little, if any, resistance. It would have gone on to shape how they saw themselves, how they would talk to themselves and how they expected other people to treat them.
How they were spoken to would then go on to become their inner voice. There is the chance that how they were spoken to by these people was very similar to how these people were spoken to when they were younger.
If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.