While there are people in the world who have a close connection with their parents, there are others who don’t. And if one is close to their parents, it might be hard for them to understand why someone wouldn’t experience life in the same way.
This could mean that one lives in the same street as they do, or they might live in the same area. But even if they don’t live this close, they could still find time to see them on a regular basis.
One Step Further
Along with this, one might even go on holiday with them from time to time, and other family members could also join them. One is then an adult, but they are still going to appreciate being around the people who brought them up.
Still, this is not to say that they will always get on with each other, but even if they do fall out, they might soon put it behind them. This will show that they are able to talk openly about things, and to deal with the conflict that arises in a mature manner.
A Mature Relationship
Therefore, even though one is going to be their child, their parents are not going to treat them like one. They will treat them in the same way that they would treat other human beings.
One is then going to feel as though they are respected and appreciated by their parents. So if they were to end up in a position where they needed help, there is going to be no reason for them not to reach out to their parents.
On the other hand, one might only have one parent left, and this could mean that they are even closer to them. They may be only too happy to take them to different places, and to make sure that they always have what they need.
Yet, if they are now with someone else, they might not need to do a lot for them. And even if one doesn’t have a good connection with their new partner, they could still be happy that they have fond someone to be with.
When one experiences life in this way as an adult, it is likely to show that they were treated in the right way as a child. The early experiences one had with their parent/s as a child is then what laid the foundations for them to get on with them as an adult.
Or, if one didn’t get on with them when they were younger, there is the chance that this changed as time went by. Perhaps their parents were really strict and this was too much for them to handle.
As time passed, one has come to appreciate how they were brought up, and to see that they had their best interests at heart. Alternatively, their parents might have settled down as they got older and it will then have been easier for them to handle.
But if they were abused when they were younger and they now get on with their parent/s, it could show that they have been able to work through what took place. There parent/s would then have acknowledged what took place and this would have brought them together.
Nonetheless, this is not to say that this is the only thing that would have taken place. In addition to this, this is likely to have been a time when one had to work through the pain that was within them.
Their parent/s may have also had to deal with what caused them to abuse their child, and this probably meant that they were also abused when they were younger. The main thing is that this has now come to an end, and they have all been able to move forward.
When one doesn’t have a close connection to their parents, they might wonder what it would be like to experience life in his way. If they were to think about the people who brought them up, it could fill them with pain.
There will then be what happened when they were younger, and there will be what happens now that they are an adult. What this can show is that not only were they treated badly when they were a child, but that these people continue to behave in the same way.
One can then be in a position where part of them wants to cut them out of their life and another part of them wants to keep them in their life. What can also make this even harder is that they could have people around them who don’t understand what they are going through.
In their eyes, one should just move on from what happened and do what they can to get on with them. This could show that these people can’t relate to what one is going through, or it could be a sign that they are not willing to face up to what they went through as a child.
When one spends time with their parent/s, they could end up being verbally abused by them, amongst other things. And if one was to stand their ground and to say that what they are doing is not acceptable, it might not have an effect on them.
It will then be clear that they are not willing to change their behaviour, and this is can show that they lack empathy. One is then going to feel bad in their presence and they will feel bad when their time together comes to an end.
A Big Decision
If their parent/s were willing to see how destructive their behaviour is, there would be no reason for one to cut them out of their life. But as this is not the case, this might be the only way for them to feel better about themselves.
Along with the impact that they have on how they feel, they could also make it harder for them to function in other areas of their life. Their performance at work could suffer, and it could have a negative effect on their personal relationships.
Ultimately, this is decision that one will need to make for themselves; is not something that someone else can decide for them. And even if one was to do this, it doesn’t mean that their parent/s would be able to understand.
They could act as though they haven’t done anything wrong, or they could say that they will change in order to pull them in. And out of desperation, one could end up going along with it.
During this time, it might be a good idea for one to work with a therapist or a healer. This will give them the chance to work through what comes up and to be supported.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
To book your free 15-minute consultation, click here.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.