Childhood Trauma: Can Childhood Trauma Cause Someone To Believe That It Isn’t Safe Enough To Exist?

Although someone could live somewhere that is relatively safe and secure, it doesn’t mean that they will realise this at the core of their being. As a result of how they behave and live their life, it will be as though they are living in a very dangerous environment.

But, even though this is something that may stand out to the outside observer, it might not stand out for them. Instead, how they experience life could just be what is normal and thus, they might not be able to see what is going on.

The Norm
However, thanks to how long they have probably experienced life in this way for, it could be said that this not much of a surprise. There is a strong chance that they have been this way for many, many years.

How they experience life is unlikely to be very fulfilling, yet it will just be something that they have become accustomed to. The downside to this, of course, is that if they have got used to what is going on and see it as just how life is, there will be no need for them to do anything about it.

Disconnected

In general, they could spend a lot of time living in their head, meaning that they won’t have a good connection with their body. Being aware of what is going on up top - their thoughts - won’t be an issue, but being aware of what is going on down below - their feelings and sensations - will be.

And, as they do spend a lot of time in this part of their being, it could mean that they have a well-developed intellect. Along with this, they could themselves as ‘spiritual’ and often spend time in other realms.

Pros and cons

If they do have a well-developed intellect they won’t have trouble thinking clearly and questioning things, yet they could often feel empty. They are going to have a lot going on up top but they won’t have much going on down below.

They won’t feel empty because they are actually missing anything; they will feel empty because they are not being supported by their emotional self. Nonetheless, if they do come into contact with this part of them, it is unlikely to provide them with much support.

A Painful Experience

This could be a time when they feel very low and deeply depressed. What this may illustrate is that they are carrying many, many layers of toxic shame, helplessness and powerlessness.
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When they are not in touch with their feelings, it doesn’t mean that they will be at ease, though. It might not be uncommon for them to experience fear and anxiety, and their body could tighten up when this happens and their awareness could be firmly in their head.

Away From Others

Now, one could prefer to spend a lot of time by themselves as this could be a time when they are able to feel more at ease. This is not to say that being away from others will allow them to experience inner peace; it is that their inner world could be far more manageable.

Watching television or browsing the web, for instance, will allow them to get away from all the arousal that is inside them. Their connection to themselves won’t be very strong when this takes place but they will experience a much-needed break.

Around Others

When they are with other people, they could automatically go into a certain role. This could mean that they will be easy-going, submissive and act as though they are an extension of others.

They are then going to be happy to fade into the background and to allow others to receive all of the attention. In moments like this, one will be physically there but they won’t be emotionally there.

Staying Small

After they have been around others, they could end up feeling angry, frustrated and helpless. This is likely to be a consequence of the fact that they didn’t fully show up and express who they are.

Ultimately, being this way and not showing up is going to be what feels safe. Deep down, being seen by others and growing and expanding is likely to be seen as a threat to their very survival.

One Priority

On one level, how they experience life is going to cause them to suffer, but at a deeper level, then, how they experience life is going to be seen as the only way for them to survive. To solely focus on the symptoms of this, such as being disconnected from themselves, not being seen, feeling powerless and staying small wouldn’t be the most effective approach.

What needs to be dealt with is what is preventing them from feeling safe and being able to inhabit their body. Once they feel safe enough to be in their body, they will feel safe enough to express their true-self and to embrace life.

A Closer Look

If one has been this way for as long as they can remember, it could show that their childhood years were not very nurturing. This may have been a time when they were abused and or neglected on a weekly, if not daily, basis.

This would have meant that they didn’t receive the kind of care that they needed to develop in the right way. They wouldn’t have developed a felt sense of self-worth, safety or security and losing touch with their body would have been the only way for them to handle what took place.

Awareness

If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk