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Even though someone can come across as strong and together, it doesn’t mean that they have a strong core and that their sense of self is built on firm foundations. However, not only can this be something that other people are unaware of, one could also be unaware of it.
If the people in their life were to describe them, they could say that they are confident, even courageous and full of life. Or, they could say that they are pretty normal, not overly fearful nor confident. Out of Nowhere Regardless of how one comes across, they could continue to be this way for many, many years and then, this could all change. In a very short period of time, they could become someone else entirely. When this happens, one could wonder what is going on as could the people that are in their life. Then again, one could end up in such a bad way that it is not even possible for them to think about what is going on. Another Experience If this is not something that takes place practically overnight, it could be something that gradually occurs. This could be a process that takes a number of months, if not a few years. Due to how slow this is, it could give one the chance to question what is going on. Alternatively, one might not do this, which could mean that they will gradually become accustomed to how they experience life. The Experience When it comes to their experience, they could find that their emotions are all over the place and that they no longer feel like an adult. They could feel like a scared, vulnerable and powerless child. It could be a complete mystery at this point as to why their inner world is all over the place and why they feel the way that they do. What could make things harder is that they could experience a lot of shame. Hell on Earth This shame could give them the need to hide what they are going through from others. If it does, this will make what they are going through even worse as it will be essential for them to reach out for support. Holding a job down at this point could also be a challenge, with them finding it hard to do even basic tasks. There could also be moments when they feel depressed and moments when they think about ending their own life. A Precarious Position If they were to describe what they are going through to others, they could say that it is like they are stuck in a very deep hole. This could be a hole where there is no light coming from above. Or, they could say that it is like they are drowning in water and there is nothing that they can do to get themselves back on solid ground. Ultimately, they will have lost all sense of control and this will be a very scary place to be. What is going on? When someone has this experience in their adult life, it can show that they didn’t receive what they needed to receive during their early years. Instead of receiving the love, care and nurturance that they needed in order to grow and develop, they may have regularly been abused and/or neglected. Through not getting what they needed, their outer appearance would have changed but not a lot would have taken place on the inside. One way of looking at this would be to say that they will be like a house that has nothing inside and no foundations. The Trigger As a result of what took place, their being will be in a highly traumatised state, and this will have been covered up by a false-self. This false-self will have allowed them to survive what took place and to keep it together for so long. The trauma inside them will have been building up since that point in time, until it ended up bursting out. It may have been one thing ‘out there’ that played a part in this or it may have been a number of things. A Fractured Being When this happened, most of the defences that they had in place to keep their pain at bay would have fallen away. And as they were no longer in place, it allowed a lot of the pain that had been kept in their unconscious mind (body) to enter their conscious mind What this will show is that for most of their life, they will have lived on the surface of themselves. The pain that has come up can be seen as coming from the parts of their being that had to be split-off during their early years. Fallen Apart The story of Humpty Dumpty is fitting here, as this is a story that talks about an egg that falls off a wall and ends up falling apart. In this case, one won’t have fallen apart after falling off a wall, but they will have fallen apart. But, while all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again in this story, it will be possible for one to be put back together again. This is not going to happen overnight though. Awareness To reintegrate these split-off parts and to settle down, they will most likely need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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 Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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