Nowadays, it is incredibly easy for a man to view porn, and if he wants, he can also keep it light and check out different glamour models. The former can take place by going to certain video sites, while the latter can take place by using social media.
One way for a man to see both of these options would be to say that they are both harmless, and that neither of them will have much of an effect on their life. After all, it is not as though they are harming anyone by viewing these kinds of things. A Buffet And not only is it incredibly easy for a man to view this kind of material online, there is going to be so much for him to choose from. Also, this can be done from the comfort of his own home, or he can view it when he is on the move. Millions and millions of images and videos will be right at his figure tips and he won’t have to pay a penny. He can then believe that he is getting a lot and not giving anything in return. The Big Illusion However, while he might not spend any of his money on what he is viewing, it doesn’t mean that he won’t be giving anything in return. If he was to take a step back and to reflect on his own life, he might be able to see the effect that this is having on him. And, the effect that this kind of material is having can all depend on how long he has been viewing it for and how often he views it. But without even looking into this, he could spend a lot of his life viewing images and videos online. A Waste of a Life The time that he spends doing this is not going to be spent developing himself and he won’t be around real people either, or more to the point; he won’t be spending time with a real woman. So, instead of embracing life, he is going to be sat on the sidelines instead. If he is in a relationship, he is going to be neglecting the woman in his life, and what he does online is likely to affect his ability to perform in the bedroom. He might find it hard to get an erection, along with making him bored with the normal ways of having sex. Moving Forward If a man is not in a relationship (and doesn’t even spend time with real women), it is going to be in his best interest to gradually wean himself of this kind of material. Additionally, it might be a good idea for him to look into what he can do to attract a real woman. On the other hand, if a man is in a relationship, looking into what made him look towards this kind of material to begin with might help. Through doing this and getting the help that he needs, it can allow hiding to improve his relationship and to focus on other areas of his life. An Empty Existence Ultimately, if a man is straight he is going to want to be with a woman, and this need is not going to be met by watching videos and seeing pictures. This is no different to how a man’s nutritional needs are not going to be met by watching videos or viewing pictures of food. The only thing that will take place is that he will end up feeling frustrated and drained and, as times passes; he will gradually start to die. When it comes to videos of women having sex with other men or pictures of half naked women, he is also likely to end up feeling frustrated and drained. A Slow Death That’s not to say that a man will end up dying through living in this way, but he is unlikely to feel fully alive either. By spending so much time watching videos and looking at pictures, he could have become disconnected from his body. Therefore, he nay may no longer be a human being who experiences life for himself; he could have become a voyeur. A real relationship with women will have been replaced by virtual relationships. A Loss of Motivation So, as viewing this kind of material is only going to cause their brain to release certain chemicals and it won’t actually meet their needs, it is not going to be a surprise if they feel drained. One way of looking at it would be to say that they will be eating food, but it will be food that has no nutritional value. If they masturbate a lot, they may even find that their testosterone is not as high as it could be and that they struggle with self-control. He will be running on empty, which will be partly why he will find it hard to change his behaviour. The Right Protection It would be easy to blame porn and the women who reveal parts of their body for a living, but what this would do is overlook what would cause a man to be drawn to this kind of material to begin with. This is not to say that porn is neutral and should be available to people of all ages, far from it. It might be a good idea if it was only available after someone got to a certain age, with this being a time when had developed the ability to think about the consequences that viewing it would have on their life and after they had been given the right guidance by the people around them. Once the foundations have been laid, they would be less likely to be drawn to this kind of material and if they were, they would have the tools to get themselves back on track. A Closer Look If the focus is only on the damage that this kind of material can do and not on what would cause a man to be drawn to it, it would be easy to see him as a victim. It would then not be possible for him to change his life, and this means that every man on the planet would just be a few clicks away from being hooked on this material. When a man views this type of material, it is likely to be a way for him to emotionally soothe himself. What this can then show is that he is unable to handle his own emotions and that he doesn’t feel comfortable reaching out towards others. The Issue At the root of this can be a fear of intimacy; the man can have a fear of revealing himself to women (and people in general). This could be the result of what took place during the beginning of his life. He may have been brought up by caregivers who told him directly (by what they said) and indirectly (by how they behaved) that there was something wrong with him and they might not have been emotionally available. This would have caused him to believe that he was worthless and unlovable, and stopped him from being able to develop the ability to handle his own emotions. Conclusion If this was the case, his early years would have set him up to be someone who would be drawn to this material. He would be too shamed to open up to anyone and his emotions would be a problem, which is why watching videos and images may seem like the only option he has to manage how he feels. It will be essential for a man to reach out for the right support if he can relate to this. Working with a therapist or a healer, for instance, will give him the opportunity to work through the pain that is within him and to gradually transform his life.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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