For a number of years now, a lot has been said about adults and children who don’t feel comfortable with their gender. And what can define what something thinks about all this can be their age.
A Different World
If someone is at the beginning of their life, for instance, they might not have a lot to say about all this. The reason for this is that they may have heard a lot about this whilst they were at school or university.
As a result, this is not going to be something that they find strange; it could just be seen as a normal part of life. Alternatively, if one has been on this planet for quite some time, they might find it hard to understand what is going on.
One could wonder what is going on for someone who isn’t comfortable with their gender, seeing this as a sign that this person is lost. This might be as far as they go, or they could have the desire to find out more about this.
Having said that, it is not always going to be this black and white. There are bound to be people who have grown up with this who can’t get their head around it, and for people who haven’t who don’t have issue with this.
With that aside, the kind of experience a child has, when they are not comfortable with their gender, is likely to be different to the experience that an adult has. For one thing, an adult is going to have more control over their life.
In addition to this, they are typically going to have a better understanding of themselves. Taking this into account, if an adult is not comfortable with their gender it could be said that they need to do something about it.
A Big Decision
However, if someone wanted to change their appearance, it is going to be important for them to make sure that they truly want to take this step. Taking this step will be similar to taking a one way trip to mars – there will be no going back.
This could then be a time when one will need to work with a therapist to explore the reasons as to why they want to do this. One may find that they no longer want to go through with this process afterwards, or it might not have much of an effect on them.
An Important Process
But even if one doesn’t change their mind, at least they will have taken the time to make sure this is the right step for them to take. If they were to work with a therapist and came to decide that they no longer want to go through this with process, they may have found out why they were experiencing so much conflict when they compared what was taking place within them, with how they looked in the mirror.
One of the things that may have had an effect could have been what they experienced as a child. They might not have had a positive relationship with their mother or father, for instance.
A Very Different Experience
If a child, on the other hand, has a problem with their gender, there is only going to be so much that they can do. In order for anything to take place, they will probably need their caregiver/s support.
Nevertheless, there is the chance that their caregiver/s is right behind them, meaning that this is not something that the child will have to worry about. And as far as their caregiver/s is concerned, there might not be anything wrong with their child.
Yet, just because their caregiver/s is on board with what their child is going through, it doesn’t mean that their child should simply go ahead and have a sex change, for instance. Firstly, one has to wonder if there has ever been a child on this planet who has felt comfortable with their gender.
Secondly, there is a strong chance that this child has the need to please their caregiver/s. Thus, if one or both of their caregivers has asked their child if they feel comfortable being a boy or a girl and they have given off the impression that they shouldn’t be, then it is not going to be a surprise for the child to go along with this.
A Number of Influences
What can also play a part is if the child has been asked this question whilst they were at school or during a hospital appointment, for example. Children are very good at reading people, so it is not going to take a lot for them get a sense of what they should or shouldn’t say.
Along with this, a child could have at least one caregiver who is more concerned about their own needs than their child’s needs. Subsequently, if this caregiver has the need to look good or is a ‘narcissist’, they might encourage their child to change their gender so that they can look good or ‘progressive’.
The fact that the child’s brain is still developing and that they are not in a position to know what is or what isn’t right for them at this stage in their life is going to be overlooked. Their caregiver is going to be too caught up with their own needs to be able truly connect to their child or to realise this it is not abnormal for someone to be confused at this age.
But as today’s society actively encourages children to change their gender, there is going to be no reason for a caregiver like this to change their behaviour. Instead of seeing the caregiver as someone who is out of touch with reality, they can be seen as an example to follow.
Ultimately, it is a caregiver’s responsibility to protect their child, and this involves making rational decisions. Giving a young child the ability to change their appearance before they are even old enough to think about the consequences of their actions is completely irresponsible.
If young children are being asked if they are comfortable with their gender - at a time when they are extremely suggestible - is it really a surprise that so many children have said that they are not? When someone thinks about child abuse, they can think about physical abuse or neglect, but what they probably won’t think about is when a caregiver encourages their child to have a sex change or simple stands by and lets it happen – this can be seen as another form of neglect, or a sign that a caregiver is giving their child too much control.
Perhaps the reason why children are being asked this question is due to the fact that they are so vulnerable, and this is then the best age group to target. It has been said that the people behind the scenes want to create an androgynous society - everyone will then be the same, making them easier to control.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.