If a woman was asked to talk about what she thinks holds women back in life, she may say that it is themselves. What this might then show is that she has an internal locus of control.
On the other hand, another woman could be asked the same question, and she could say that it is men. As a result of this, it is likely to show that he has an external locus of control.
When it comes to the first woman, there is the chance that he will see herself as an individual, as opposed to being part of a group or a movement. Said another way, she will be a women but, first and foremost, she will be a human being.
However, when it comes to the second woman, there is the chance that she will be a ‘feminist’. Being part of this movement can then take precedence, and it might not even occur to her she is an individual.
The Main Thing
Consequently, she is going to be part of the human race, but first and foremost, she will be a woman. It can then be as though she is part of a different species, with this species being women.
Her main concern is going to be to do what they can to make life better for herself and her fellow women, and not what she can do to assist humanity as a whole. It can be as if women live in their own bubble and, the only way to assist them will be focus purely on their concerns.
Shinning the Light
At the same time, a woman could have an internal locus on control and still be a feminist, but if this is the case, she is unlikely to behave in the same way as a feminist that has an external locus of control. Having an internal locus of control will allow someone to feel as though they have control over their life, whereas an external locus of control wont.
With this in mind, if a woman has an external locus of control, it is not going to be a surprise for her to believe that men are in control of her life. She will feel completely powerless, so there will be absolutely nothing that she can do directly to change her life.
A Power Struggle
Through feeling so powerless, it is to be expected that she will be part of a movement; this will allow her to avoid how she feels. If she was to stand as an individual, for instance, this wouldn’t happen.
The power that she experiences, through being part of this movement, will be attained by having power over others. She can then call herself a ‘feminist’ and look virtuous, but she can be no different to someone who controls others.
But while there will be people who will see that she needs to develop an internal locus of control, she is unlikely to realise this. There is a strong chance that she is not even aware of how she perceives life.
This could just be seen as the truth, meaning that she will have every right to control men; with the help of other women and men. It will be black and white, with women being the oppressed and men being the oppressors.
A woman like this will be wearing invisible glasses that cause her to see everything through the lens of gender. It won’t matter that there are moments in every man and woman’s life when they have good and bad moments, or that there are women on this planet who are far more ‘privileged’ than many men.
Yet, if her mind has been heavily propagandised by the education system and/or the media, for instance, it is not going to be a surprise for her to see life in this way. After all, human beings don’t see with their eyes; they see with their mind.
In order for a woman to believe that all men have it easy and that all women are oppressed/victims, it is going to be necessary for her to put men on a pedestal. Through seeing men in this way, it is then normal for her to believe that they have it easy.
When something like this takes place, it is usually a sign that someone is trying to avoid how they feel. The reason for this is that this is a defence mechanism, which is something that the mind uses to disconnect from the emotional pain that arises from the body.
It doesn’t take much effort to see that a woman will suffer if she believes that she has no control over her life. Subsequently, she is likely to be carrying a lot of pain within her that needs to be avoided.
Through having this outlook and carrying this pain, she is going to have a victim energy about her, and this is going to cause her to attract things that validate what she believes. But as she is attached to what is taking place within her and unable to observe her inner world and, therefore, to see how her inner world is affecting her outer world, what she experiences will just be seen as more evidence that what she believes is the truth.
She will be nothing more than an observer of her reality and the onus will be on men to change. One of the big problems here is that this kind of behaviour is supported by mainstream society.
Not only are people in general not encouraged to take responsibility for their own life; it is socially acceptable for a woman to blame men for all her problems. Men are then so ‘privileged’ that they have to put up with being constantly attacked and seen as the root of all problems.
A Deeper Look
If a woman has an external locus of control, there is the chance that there was a time in her life when she felt extremely powerless and helpless. This moment, or a number of moments, would then have caused her to believe that she has no effect on the external world.
The fact that she has an issue with all men can show that it was a man who made her feel this way. What took place with one man would then have gone on to define how she perceived all men.
This could be something that took place when she was a young child; maybe her father abused her in some way. How she feels as an adult will then be how she felt as a child, and her beliefs about men will also have been formed during this time.
Ergo, through identifying with what happened all those years ago, it is not possible for her to live in the present. That time in her life is long gone, but she is keeping it alive by not working through the pain and the beliefs that were formed.
If we lived in a society that encouraged self-awareness and taking responsibility for our own issues, there would be no reason for a grown woman to have an external locus of control. There is nothing empowering about being this way, and the fact that feminism often encourages women to see themselves as victims is surely a clear sign that it is not necessarily there to benefit them.
Taking this into account, if a woman does feel powerless and as though she has no control over her life, it might be a good idea for her to work with a therapist or a healer. By dealing with the trauma that is within her, she will be taking the steps to be able to be an empowered individual.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.