If a man was to do something wrong, he might end up being criticised for what he has done. It could then be said that the reason he is being criticised is due to what he has done, as opposed to the fact that he is a man.
Part of Life
One way of looking at this would be to say that this is how it should be; he is a human being after all. Like all men, he is not perfect, and this is why he is going to make mistakes from time to time.
And if this man was to think about what has just taken place, he may see that this is not the first time this has taken place. In fact, this could be something that he is used to, and he could expect to be criticised more in the future.
On one side, this is something that he will experience when he has done something wrong, and on the other, it will happen when someone has something against him. Based on this, it will be constructive or it will be destructive.
Thus, there will be moments when it will have the potential to improve his life, and there will be moments when it doesn’t. But even if it is aimed at having a negative effect on him, it doesn’t mean that this will take place.
Instead, he could let what has been said wash over him and carry on with the rest of his life. He could realise that life is short and that there is no point in getting too caught up with people who try to pull him down.
Through being this way, it will make it a lot easier for him to stay on track and to use his time and energy wisely. The alternative would be for him to get thrown off track by just about everything that other people say.
It is then not going to be a lot harder for him to stay on track and to achieve what he needs to achieve. What other people say to him is going to define his life, and this is going to stop him from living life on his terms.
So instead of being a large ship on the ocean that can handle just about anything that happens; he will be nothing more than small boat that is constantly being tossed around. No matter how small something is, it is likely to have a negative effect on him.
What this emphasises is how important it is for a man to have a strong sense of purpose, as it will stop him from getting caught up in trivial matters. There will be what matters and there will be what doesn’t.
This is similar to how if one was walking towards a light, the light would be the primary focus. Everything else that comes across their path as they walk towards this light is going to fade into the background.
An Unlikely Scenario
But if a man was to get worked up after he was criticised and to say that the other person is a misandrist, it is highly unlikely that he would be taken seriously. For one thing, this is a word that very few people understand.
What he said might end up being pushed aside by both men and women, and he would then have to get on with the rest of his life. If he said something like this from time-to-time it, might have some truth to it; but if this is what he says every time he is criticised, this might not be the case.
The Other Side
Yet, if a woman was to say that someone is a misogynist after being criticised, it is likely to be taken far more seriously. And it might not matter if this person is man or woman, as it can still apply.
Other woman could agree with everything this woman says, and there could be plenty of men who are there to offer their support. If anyone disagrees with this outlook, they could also be labelled as misogynist.
As far as this woman is concerned, there is only going to be one way of looking at what has taken place. Ultimately, this will be something that is black and white, and it won’t matter if what they believe actually matches up with reality.
Therefore, it is irrelevant as to whether someone is a man or woman, as they are not going to be exempt from being labelled in this way. One way of looking at this would be to say that this is a sign that this woman is caught up with what is taking place within her.
Through being so consumed with what she believes, it stops her from being able to engage with the world. This is then no different to how someone who is paranoid believes that everyone is looking at them; their outlook is the truth and that’s all there is to it.
So through projecting what is taking place within them onto others and being unable to take in what is actually taking place, it stop them from being able to face reality. Her own issues end up being assigned to other people.
This is also likely to show that she sees herself as being completely perfect, and this is then why someone is labelled as a misogynist for criticising her. Said another way, if she was capable of making a mistake it would be different.
But as she isn’t, the only reason why anyone would criticise her is because they hate women. What this can show is that this woman has a false sense of her own importance, lacks self-awareness, finds it hard to empathise with others, and that it is difficult for her to take responsibility.
Does this mean that misogyny doesn’t exist? No, what it means is that woman, just like men, are imperfect. Making mistakes is part of life, and so this is not something that anyone needs to be ashamed of.
If someone finds it hard to accept this and has the need to always be perfect, it can be a sign that they are carrying toxic shame. Through carrying this, it can cause them to competently disconnect from their shame and to see themselves as being more-than others.
The reason why they would be carrying toxic shame can be due to what happened when they were younger, and this may have been a time when they were abused and/or neglected. In order to handle these trauma experiences, it would have been necessary for them to develop a false-self.
If someone can relate to this and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to work with a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.