For a little while now, it has been pointed out that masculinity is under attack. What has added even more weight to this is that the American Psychological Association (APA) has said that ‘traditional masculinity’ is a problem.
So, regardless of whether the word ‘toxic’ or ‘traditional’ is added before the word masculinity, it doesn’t change the fact that it is seen as a problem in today’s world. And, as masculinity is often associated with men, it means that men are seen as a problem.
A Strange Scenario
But, even though masculinity is seen as a problem when it comes to men, this is rarely the case when it comes to women. When a woman expresses traits that are associated with ‘traditional masculinity’ she is unlikely to be shamed.
Instead, she can end up receiving a lot of positive feedback and be perceived as a modern-day woman. Perhaps it is not possible for the woman, or these people, to see what is taking place.
When a woman displays these traits, then, it’s as if they no longer have anything to do with the masculine element. Based on this, it could be said that masculinity is only a problem when it is displayed by men.
The agenda is then not to demonise the masculine element per se; it is really to demonise the people who generally have the most of this element – men. There is also something else that is taking place.
As it is not uncommon for female feminists to criticise masculinity and to actively encourage men to act in ways that are associated with the feminine element, it can create the impression that these women are all for femininity. Its case of, they are women so they must value this side of their nature.
However, what one may find, if they were to take a step back and to reflect on how these female feminists behave, is that a lot of them have very little connection with their feminine nature. How they behave, along with what they come out with, has more to do with the masculine element.
The masculine is hard and the feminine is soft, and what is clear is that so many female feminists are anything but soft. A feminist like this can come across as angry, bitter and highly aggressive, having absolutely no connection to her inner softness, sensitivity and ability to nurture.
In her eyes, a woman is likely to be someone who can do everything by herself (‘an independent woman’) and who wants to work for a corporation. A woman like this can then look like a woman, yet she is likely to be estranged from her own femininity.
What stands out from this is that it would be more accurate to say that women like this are not against masculinity; what they are actually against is femininity. Along with this, they are likely to have issues with men.
A woman like this is likely to have rejected her feminine aspect, seeing it as weak, needy and pathetic. Masculinity, on the other hand, will be seen in a completely different light.
The Real Motive
Ergo, as she has an issue with her own femininity and an issue with men, it will make complete sense for her to do what she can to feminise them and to make them weaker. The part of herself that she despises will be projected into the people who she despises.
When a man is totally out of touch with his masculinity and takes on a more dependent and passive role, it will be a lot easier for her to control him. The hate that she directs towards men in general is then going to be an expression the hate that she has for a big part of herself.
A Common Word
As a woman like this hates her own femininity, it is not much of a surprise that she sees misogyny everywhere. The world is merely mirroring back the conflict within her that she is not willing to face.
Through being out of touch with what is taking place within her, she can use this conflict to control men. Her day-to-day experiences will then prove that men hate women, as opposed to how much she hates her own femininity.
A Closer Look
When a woman has rejected her own femininity and has issues with men, it can be a sign that her early years were not very nurturing. This may have been a time in her life when she was treated badly by her father or another male figure.
Through being treated so badly, it would have been clear that is wasn’t safe for her to be vulnerable, which would have caused her to see this part of her as having no purpose and as being worthless. Disconnecting from her softer side, and becoming overly masculine in the process, would then have been a way for her to survive.
The years would have passed since this time in her life, but the pain she experienced will still be locked in her body. Abusing men in her adult life will then be a way for her to experience indirect revenge.
By emasculating men, it will be a lot easier for her to keep the trauma that she experienced when she was younger at bay. Her early experiences are then going to be replayed on a much bigger stage.
It would be easy to point the finger at these self-loathing feminists and to see them as the reason why there are so many problems in the western world, yet it is not this black and white. For one thing, there are undoubtedly people at the top who have used these deeply wounded women further to their own agenda.
The ideal might be for women like this to put their crusade to one side and to reach out for help. By dealing with their own wounds, they will no longer allow their early years to define how they see themselves or the world, and this will allow them to truly make a difference.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.