A number of days ago, a brand released a short film that was aimed at men, and this was there to remind men of their “toxic masculinity”. In addition to this part, it showed men how to act in a more civilised way.
In the past, this company would share adverts that were radically different, with them being right behind masculinity. Now, however, they have changed their tune and have basically jumped on the ‘masculinity is bad’ bandwagon.
The Other Side
A number of people, both men and women, have thought about whether the same company will do a video aimed at women, taking a closer look at “toxic femininity”. This would make sense, considering there are positive and negative traits associated with both energies, and especially if this company is actually interested in doing the right thing, as opposed to just using this issue to make more money.
It is unlikely that this would take place, though, due to how men are generally demonized by the mainstream and women are generally idealised. Ultimately, it is easy to lay into men; they are an easy target – this must be part of ‘male privilege.’
A Little While Earlier
Before this short film came out, the American Psychological Association (APA) released its first-ever guidelines designed to help mental health professionals assist men and boys with their ‘toxic masculinity’. It was said that traditional masculinity was, in general, harmful, and this related to traits such as: stoicism, competitiveness, personal ambition, self-reliance, courage and aggression.
Taking this into account, it is not just toxic masculinity that men and boys need to root out; they also need to root out every other trait that is associated with masculinity. Still, as this is a respected organisation, they must know what they are talking about.
Back To Reality
Another way of looking at this would be to say that the reason this organisation has come out with all this stuff is because they have a hidden agenda. On one level, it can seem as though this organisation is there to actually help people with their mental and emotional challenges but, this is just a facade.
Running through the heart of this organisation will be the intention to indoctrinate the masses. This is then just another arm that the establishment uses to direct the masses in a certain direction.
The Perfect Outcome
According to this organisation, then, a well-adjusted man will be someone that has removed all of his masculinity - a castrated man. Unlike a man who has embraced this side of his nature, he will be an example to others.
But while this will be seen as what a man should be like, it is unlikely to lead to a very fulfilling existence for the man. For one thing, a man like this is going to end up being very passive and to lead a very reactive life.
An Important Point
What also can’t be overlooked here is that masculine traits are not only found in men; both men and women have them to varying degrees. This comes down to the fact that men and women are made up of both masculine and feminine energy.
This is the plane of duality after all, which is why it is not possible to have one aspect without the other. Naturally, the key is to make peace with both sides and to integrate these two energies.
A Strange Scenario
So, as both of these aspects are an important part of life, there is no point in trying to demonize one aspect. Also, if women also have the masculine energy within them, it means that they can display ‘toxic masculinity’.
If one aspect is demonised and it is believed that only men embody this aspect, it is going to be normal for men to be seen primitive beings that need to be domesticated by the more evolved gender. When a society is made up of men who have been worn down and are drowning in their own self-loathing, it is going to be a lot easier to keep everyone in line.
An Easy Target
Is it possible that the people at the top don’t give a damn about masculinity or femininity and merely want to enslave as many people as possible? Without strong men in society, women will be put in a vulnerable position, and this makes it easier for other ‘tribes’ to come in and to take over.
This is, of course, one of the reasons why men have aggression, so that they can protect women and children from predators and provide the energy that is needed to build a society. It might seem as though times have changed and that there are no external threats any more, yet a simple look at what has been taking place recently will reveal that this is an illusion.
Back To the Main Point
Anyway, when it comes to ‘toxic masculinity’, bullying, violence and controlling behaviour are often put forward. It could be said that these are all examples of what happens when a man is being controlled by his aggression.
Even so, to say that this means that aggression is therefore bad wouldn’t be accurate; aggression is an energy that is an inherent part of men (and women) and is neither good nor bad. What typically defines whether a man uses this force in a constructive or destructive way is what his early years were like.
The Big Question
Ergo, instead of purely focusing on ‘toxic masculinity’ and demonising men, what really needs to be looked into is why some men are behaving in destructive ways. Currently, the impression that is given is that a man consciously chooses to act in a violent manner, for instance.
Based on this, if they are given guidance in regards to how to behave, they will simply change. For example, a man who goes around beating people up will then stop doing this once he realises it is the wrong thing to do.
A Deeper Look
What has most likely played a part in why some men are unable handle their own aggression and to behave in a civilised manner is the lack of guidance that they received growing up. Their father probably wasn’t around during this incredibly important time in their life or if he was, he might not have been available.
The trouble is that in today’s world, it is often believed that the only purpose that a man serves when it comes to children is to provide the sperm and then to provide money later on. The guidance that a father provides in terms of showing a boy how to handle his aggression, amongst other things, is then not even going to be something that is considered.
So many children are being raised by single mothers nowadays, and this means that there are plenty of boys out there that are not getting the guidance that they desperately need. Perhaps these boys will grow up to show signs of ‘toxic masculinity’ or maybe they will go to the other extreme, coming across as passive, depressed and lacking sense of direction.
With this in mind, if someone actually cares about men, and society as a whole, and isn’t just interested in using this issue to vent and to look virtuous, one of their biggest concerns will be to do what they can to keep families together or at the very least, to make sure that fathers are not cast aside. ‘Toxic masculinity’ is then an effect of a far greater problem - the breakdown of the family.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.