Although a man may accept that some men are more masculine than others, there is also the chance that this is something that he is not willing to accept. This is something that can define how he responds to men who are not very masculine.
If a man can accept this, he may just see men as individuals, meaning he won’t expect them to behave in a certain way. Their physical appearance is not going to absorb all of their attention, as this will be seen as just one part of them. Beyond The Physical The man could believe that regardless of whether someone is a man or a woman, this doesn’t represent their true essence. In his eyes, the male/female body that someone has could just be seen as something that allows them to experience physical reality. At their core, then, a man or a woman is going to be made up of the same thing as everything else on this planet. Having this outlook will allow him to truly tolerate people who are different. Personal Growth However, this doesn’t mean that he won’t also believe that a man can become more masculine if he so chooses. But while he may believe this, it doesn’t mean that he will go around trying to change men. He may have also come to conclude that there is an attempt by the powers that be to make men more feminine. It will be clear to him that it is not just that some men are more feminine than others; a concerted effort is being made to make men more feminine. Less Resistance If he was to tell someone else about this and they asked him what the point of this is, he could say that this makes it easier to control both men and women. He could then say that undermining men is essential when it comes to exercising control over the populace, due to the fact that men are generally physically stronger than women. This could be seen as one arm of the operation, with another arm being to divide men and women at every turn. If the person he is speaking to is unable to accept what he is saying and denies it all, it could show that they are too closed minded to see what is going on around them. Another Scenario If a man can’t accept that some men are more masculine than others, he may have the tendency to criticise men who come across as feminine. He could behave in this way even if a man just acts in a feminine way from time to time. When a man behaves in this way, he could believe that they need to get it together or say that they are not a real man. As far as he is concerned, there is only going to be one way for a man to behave and, if he doesn’t behave in this way, he will basically be a woman in a man’s body. For Example If he was say something like this to himself and/or to a man, it could be because the man is upset about something. This can be a man who is in touch with all of his emotions as opposed to just anger and frustration, for instance. He will be expressing the vulnerable side of his being, and this could be a sign that someone in his life has passed on or that his relationship has recently come to an end. This kind of behaviour will be seen as a sign of weakness. The Only Way The man could believe that the best way for a man to deal with a break or a loss is to focus on the now and not to get caught up in the emotions. Perhaps he believes that emotions are created by the thoughts that someone has, which is why it is so important for them to have the right thoughts. A man like this might not be religious but he can still try to do what he can to force other men to behave in a certain way. This can then take place by shaming them or it can take place by giving them guidance about how they should behave. Two sides There is undoubtedly a big difference between noticing that a man needs to develop a back bone and putting a man down for behaving in a certain way. In the first instance, an observation is being made and the man is not going to be put down, whereas in the second instance, the man is simply being put down. And if a man was to say that another man needs to develop a backbone, it won’t be due to him not acting like a man, it will be due to him putting up with bad behaviour. Therefore, it is not about trying to make him into someone else; it is about encouraging him to respect himself. A Closer Look If a man does have inclination to criticise men who act feminine from time to time or a lot of the time, he could come across as strong and as though he has it altogether. He can then seem as though he is a masculine man. Even so, the strength that he appears to exude may just be coming from the false-self that he has developed over the years, with this being something that allows him to keep his true feelings at bay. Underneath this false-self could be a wounded child who feels anything but strong and capable. A Painful Reminder When they come across men who act in a feminine way, it can remind them of the wounded part of themselves that their conscious mind has disconnected from. Criticising this part in others will then be way for them to try to make sure that the wounded part within them doesn’t come up to the surface. If the pain that is in their body was to enter their conscious mind, it might cause them to experience a lot of shame. Along with this, they could end up feeling powerless, worthless and helpless, amongst other things. Awareness If a man is out of touch with his body and he wants to become aware of what is going on there, he can pay attention to what he judges in others. This is one of the ways that he can develop self-knowledge. When it comes to dealing with the pain that is in his body, he may find that he needs external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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