For quite some time now, a lot has been said about so-called ‘toxic masculinity’ and now, ‘traditional masculinity’ has been targeted by the experts at the American Psychological Association (APA). Masculinity is then a problem and, if a man has any masculine traits, it will mean that he is also a problem.
Based on this, the only way that a man will be able to redeem himself will be for him to cleanse his being of all masculine traits. In other words, the solution to his problem will be for him to become completely feminine. Confusion But, while this is all going on, it is relatively normal for a woman to be seen as ‘empowered’ and ‘independent’ if she displays masculine traits. A woman can receive this kind of feedback if she is a manager, for instance. Clearly, in order for a woman to have got to this position, she will have needed to have had a number of masculine traits. Courage, resilience and drive will be three of the traits that she will have needed. Another Angle There is the chance that even though she is a woman, she is more masculine than feminine. This could be seen as a surprise, especially if someone believes that men are one way and women are another. The fact is, however, that both men and women are made up of masculine and feminine energies. It is then to be expected that some women will have more masculine energy and some men will have more feminine energy. Doublespeak If this is put to one side for the time being, is a well-adjusted man someone who acts like a ‘traditional’ woman and is well adjusted women someone who acts like a ‘traditional’ man? Its then as if the goal is to reinvent the wheel, so to speak, as opposed to using a wheel that has worked for aeons. Or, is the main propose to make everyone (and everywhere) on this planet the same? This is then going to be the true agenda, even though the establishment endlessly harps on about how ‘diversity is our strength’. Two Problems So, when masculinity as whole is demonized, it means that the women who displayed ‘traditional’ masculine traits are also a problem. But, as the general focus is on men, this is generally not going to be realised. Along with this, if both men and women are made up of both energies, it is not going to be possible for both genders to be able to remove their masculinity. Now, this part of them can be repressed, of course, but this part of them would most likely end up being expressed in a dysfunctional manner if this was to occur. In This Together What this shows, then, is that the attack on masculinity doesn’t just affect men, it also affects women. The masculine energy, like the feminine energy, is neither good nor bad; it all depends on how it is used. Take the sky, for instance, this is often called ‘father sky’, while the earth is often called ‘mother earth. The people at the top, so to speak, understand that one of the best ways to distract people is to divide them; another way to distract them is to make out that an enemy ‘out there’ wants to harm them, which can bring the citizenry together and distract them at the same time. On Board with the Narrative Yet, while there will be both men and women who can see how absurd it is to demonise the masculine element in particular and men in general, there are going to be men and women who are right behind all this. Naturally, there will be a reason why a man is against masculinity and then there will be a reason why a woman is against it. Yet, due to the mainstream society being against masculinity, there will be no reason for them to question what they believe. It will be up to men who display masculine traits to remove this toxicity from their being, with the women who display these traits typically being overlooked. One Experience If a man is against masculinity, it can be a sign that he doesn’t have a good relationship with this part of himself. Perhaps he has rejected this part of his nature, causing him to come across as passive and submissive. What this could show is that, during his early years, his father wasn’t around and, even if he was, he may have been abusive. Either way, this may have meant that he wasn’t exposed to a healthy male figure at this incredibly important time in his life. A Lack of Backbone Through being treated badly by his father or simply not having a father around, he can carry a deep sense of being flawed. The issue he has with masculinity will then be a reflection of the issue he has with himself. And, through rejecting his own masculinity, not only can it impact his ability to move forward in his life; it can also cause him to attract people who walk all over him. He will be out of balance, so he will attract people who are equally out of balance. Another Experience If a woman, on the other hand, is against masculinity, it is also likely to show that she doesn’t have a good relationship with this part of herself. Nonetheless, she could still come across as highly aggressive. What this can show is that she doesn’t have a very good relationship with her feminine aspect either. The masculinity that she displays can then be a way for her to protect herself, with this being a sign that she feels very vulnerable behind the hostile mask that she presents to the world Back In Time At one point, she has most likely experienced a lot of pain and how she behaves as an adult is then a way for her to keep this pain at bay. Maybe, she grew up with an abusive father, too. Thus, instead of her father providing her with the safety and security that she needed to grow and to develop, she would have had to lose touch with her feminine nature and to develop a hard shell to survive. As a result, she may have the tendency to walk over others. Conclusion One way of looking at this is would be to say that it shows how someone’s early years can affect their adult life. The way that someone’s father behaved during this time can define the relationship that they have with their own masculinity and how they see men in general. With awareness and the right assistance, someone can work through their inner wounds and become an integrated human being. When this doesn’t take place, they will simply be replaying their early dramas and this will create even more disharmony in the world.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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