When one goes on a date, it is going to be important for them to make sure that they look right. This is not to say that they will need to spend hours on their appearance before they go out; what it comes down to is that it won’t be a good idea for them to overlook how they look.
In addition to what they wear, there can be what perfume they will decide to use and what they will do with their hair. If they are a woman, for instance, they are likely to be able to do far more with their hair than if they were a man.
During this time, one could feel comfortable, and they might not even think about what will happen with the other person. There is the chance that they have a lot going in their life, and this could cause them to see this as just another moment in their life.
Through being this way, there is going to be no reason for them to come on too strong when they meet the other person. One will be able to be themselves, and this means that they will be in touch with their true-self.
The Next Step
When they get together, one could find that they are just as they imagined, and this could then result in them having a good time. One could be attracted to how they look, and their personality could also pull them in.
This could show that the other person is responding to them in a positive manner, and this can mean that the attraction is mutual. As a result of this, there is the chance that they will end up getting together again.
Back to Reality
However, no matter how one felt when they were with them, it doesn’t mean that they won’t be able to focus on the rest of their life. They might think about them from time to time, but their attention is likely to be on their other priorities.
It could be said that this is the right approach to have; especially as they might not feel the same way when they meet them again. There is also the chance that something will happen and this may mean that they won’t even see them again.
Alternatively, one could go on a date and find that they don’t have a connection with the other person. For one reason or another, how they felt before will have disappeared, and they might want to get away.
So even if the other person is interested in them, it is not going to have much of an effect on them. Or, if they are not interested in them, it might be a lot easier for one to walk away from the other person.
If one is not attracted to the other person but they are attracted to them, it could mean that one will hear from them afterwards. One could then tell them that they are not interested, or they could simply ignore them.
Yet if both of them felt the same way, there will be no reason for one to hear from them again. As they didn’t have a connection with them, they could end up feeling as though they have wasted their time.
At the same time, they could believe that this is simply part of life, and that they are not going to get on with everyone they meet. When one doesn’t get too caught up with this area of their life, it can show that they are not needy.
This is then why they don’t come on too strong when they meet someone for the first time, and why they can focus on the rest of their life after a date is over. And as they are not needy, it is going to be a lot easier for them to attract people into their life.
A Big Difference
What this comes down to is that there is a big difference between having needs and being needy; having needs is part of being human, whereas being needy is a choice. However, if one is needy, it can be a challenge for them to realise this.
Instead, one can end up being consumed by their needs, and this is going to make it harder for them to have them met. It can then be normal for them to repel others, and this is going to make them feel even worse.
The First Step
When one has a date lined up, they could spend a lot of time worrying about if the other person is going to like them. Through experiencing so much pressure, it could cause them to spend a lot of time on their appearance.
And when they are with the other person, they could end up putting on an act. One is then going to be out of touch with their true-self, and the other person is likely to pick up on this.
The Same Old Story
This is not to say that the other person will consciously realise what is taking place, as it could take place unconsciously. Either way, one’s behaviour will cause the other person to feel uncomfortable.
The other person could then end up walking away before long, or they could stay and one might not hear from them again. And if one was to reflect on their past experiences, they may find that this has happened on so many occasions.
Due to what has taken place, one could end up feeling like a victim, and as though they have no control over their life. If, on the other hand, one was able to take a step back and to see the effect their behaviour is having on their life, they will be able to see that there is a reason why they experience life in this way.
This could be a time when they will see that it has got nothing to do with who they are, and how it is the result of what they are doing. It will then be a good idea for one to look into why they are so needy.
What can play a part here if is one is carrying unmet childhood needs, as these can cause them to feel like a needy child. If one doesn’t value themselves, this can also play a part.
If one is carrying unmet child needs and they don’t value themselves, they may need to work with a therapist or a healer. This will give them the chance to process the pain that is within them and to embrace their inherent value.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.