Nowadays, there are so many ways for people to find someone to be with, which is a far cry from how it used to be. In the past, one would have had to physically meet another person in order to be able to take the next step, but this is not longer necessary.
Now, one can meet someone online, speak to them for a little while, and then they can meet them in person. Therefore, they can learn a lot about them long before they have even been in the other person’s presence.
Consequently, this can mean that they will talk for a little while over text, but that could be as far as it will go. When this happens, what they have said over a screen, along with the images that they have uploaded, may have defined the outcome.
Something that one said - or the other person said - might have brought the interaction to an end. If one ended it, they may well have made the right decision, and the same could be said if the other person ended up.
Then again, this might have been the wrong decision – the trouble is that there is a strong chance that neither of them will ever know. Nonetheless, there is going to be no reason for this to be the end of the world for either of them.
Plenty of Options
One could have a number of other people lined up, so they might soon forget about what has just happened. Yet, even if they are not talking to other people, it might not be long until they find someone else to talk to.
It is then as though one is in a big shop, meaning that they will be able to find exactly what they need. If, on the other hand, online dating wasn’t available, it might take them a while to find someone else.
Even if they worked around a lot of people, it doesn’t mean that they will come across someone who they actually like. And if they don’t work around a lot of people, they might have to wait until they next go out for the night, for instance.
It could then take a number of days before they can find someone, if not weeks or even months. With internet dating, this can take place almost instantly, and this can stop them from having to dwell on what has just happened.
When one comes into contact with someone online, their mind will end forming an idea about what they are like. This idea might fairly accurate, or it could have absolutely nothing to do with what they are like as a person.
If they were to meet someone in the real world, they would be able to get a more accurate idea of what they are like. At the same time, one can just as easily deceive themselves in the real world as they can online.
The Same Challenge
However, regardless of whether one has met someone online or offline, they can still end up talking to someone who ends up going silent. Up until this point, everything could have been going well, or at least seemed to be going well.
Alternatively, there might have been conflict between them. When it relates to the later, it might be easier for them to handle, but when it relates to the former, it might harder for them to take.
It then won’t be as though anything has happened to them physically, but it might seem as though they have been physically hurt. The reason for this is that being ignored or rejected, for instance, is said to activate the part of the brain that detects physical pain.
The rest of their life will then be the same, but it can seem as though they have been excluded from society. Along with this, emotional pain that was already in their body might have come up to the surface.
The Next Step
One could feel the need to message them or to call them up, to find out what is going on. This approach might work, and one could find out that there is a good reason why they didn’t speak to them for so long.
Having said that, one could reach out and they might not hear anything back, even after a number of days and weeks have passed by. During this time, one could find that their mind is consumed with the other person; stopping them from being able to focus on anything else or to embrace the present moment.
One might then have had control of themselves at one point in time, yet at another, they will have given their power away to someone else. This will stop them from being able to pull their own strings, so to speak.
Taking this into account, it is going to be essential for them to take a step back and to reflect on what is taking place. Clearly, one is going to be wasting their time, energy and attention on this person.
Out of Sight, Out of Mind
For wherever reason, the other person is not going to take the time to tell them what is going on. Thanks to modern-day technology, it is easy for someone to simply go silent and to completely overlook the effect their behaviour is having on another person.
The only thing they need to do is to delete or block them, and then they can carry on with their life. This is something that is easier to do when someone uses online dating, as they probably won’t have to see this person everyday and they might not live in the same area either, which could be the case if they had met them in the real world.
A Closer Look
One thing that someone can say, when they go silent, is that they didn’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings. It is then as though his person actually cares about them and wants to make it easier for them to move on.
In reality, this is likely to be a way for them to avoid the pain that they would experience if they were to tell the other person that it’s over. Looking selfless is then a way for them to cover up how selfish their behaviour is.
If one’s attention is consumed by someone who has gone silent on them, it can show that they are trying to avoid how they feel in their body. The sooner they settle down and bring themselves back into the present moment, the better their life will be.
One might be able to do this through bringing their focus back to their breath and observing what is taking place within them, or they might need to reach out for external support. This can be provided by a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.