As time has passed, there has been a greater need for everything to happen faster. The pace of the world has rapidly increased and a lot of people no longer want to wait for things. In some cases, if someone wants something they will want it now and if they can’t have it now, then they might end up choosing something they can have straight away.
This might match up with what they want or it could just satiate their needs for a short period of time. But while some things can be attainted without too much time having passed, there are some things that one is going to have to wait for.
And when it comes to achievement and success, one is going to need to be able to delay gratification. As the saying goes ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’ and the same thing applies to success. This is something that takes time and unless one is able to put their need to experience pleasure to one side, they are not going to be able to go the distance.
Pleasure And Pain
When one receives what they what it is going to be pleasurable and when they don’t, it is going to be painful. And while these two experiences will depend on what they do or don’t receive, it will also depend on their perceptions.
This shows how important the mind is when it comes to experiencing pleasure or pain. The body is going to call out to have certain needs fulfilled and the mind will have to moderate these needs.
On one level is going to be the adult part of oneself and on the other is going to be the child part oneself. The adult part if going to realise that they can’t have everything straight away and at times it will be important for them to be patient.
On the other hand, the child part of them is going to want everything now and won’t be able to be patient. In the eyes of an adult, the world looks one way and in the eyes of a child, the world looks another way.
An adult is going to realise that if they don’t get what they they won’t will still survive. But to a child, their survival is going to be based on getting what they want straight away. They can’t afford to wait, it has to arrive now.
But when it comes to what a child needs, these are generally going to be needs that can be met straight away. And these are going to include the need to be held, touched, fed and heard.
However, when it comes to the need to achieve something, this is rarely going to be a need that can be fulfilled straight away. These needs are going to be a lot more complex than simply being held or fed for instance.
The challenge is that, although one may be an adult physically, it doesn’t mean they feel like one. And this is going to create problems when it comes to being able to moderating that child like or impulsive part of themselves.
One could be in a position where they view their need for success like a child views their need for food. The child is not going to be able to wait for very long and as success unlikely to be something that happens overnight, it is going to cause one to experience pain.
So as it is not going to be possible for them to fulfil their needs straight away, it could mean that they end up sabotaging their success. Instead of hanging in there and being able to handle the pain, it could cause them to give up.
Their attention is then placed on something that will allow them to experience instant gratification. In the short term it will cause them to feel good and to experience less pain, but it is also going to mean that they are unable to achieve anything significant.
A Vicious Cycle
And through staying in the same place and not moving forward, it can create an even grater need to have something straight away. This is due to the pain that could be created through staying in the same position in life.
Point Of Focus
When one wants something straight away, they are focusing on their current needs. But if one is able to put their current needs to one side and to focus on the big picture, it will be a lot easier to delay gratification.
Being unable to delay gratification could also be a sign that one has some emotional work to do. For if one feels like a child, it is going to be a lot harder for them to put things off.
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.