One of the most common mental and emotional challenges that someone can face in today’s world is depression. This is likely to be something that most people experience at one point or another.
There are then going to be others who don’t experience it from time to time, they experience it on a regular basis. It could be that this has come to be a way of life for them and it is then normal.
So what is normal for one person is not necessarily going to be normal for another. And this means that some people will be used to living without depression and others will be used to living with it.
As a result of this, their experience on this planet is going to be radically different. There are also going to be people who reach out for support when they are depressed and others who keep it to themselves.
If one was suffering from depression, it would be a good idea for them to reach out for support. But while one might ask a friend how to cook a certain meal or go to their doctor if they have a physical problem, this doesn’t always take place when it comes to mental and emotional problems.
This comes down to the fact that one is unlikely to feel ashamed of asking for help when it relates to cooking a meal or going to see their doctor about a physical problem, but they can feel ashamed when it comes to an inner problem. And because of this, one can just put up with what is taking place within them and not reach out for support.
If one was to go to their doctor, they might end up being put on some kind of medication. They are then likely to experience a shift in what is taking place within then, but this could also affect their ability to feel other emotions on the spectrum.
As a short-term solution and with additional therapy, this could assist one in being able to understand themselves better and to move forward. Yet, if one is just given drugs and that’s the end of it, they are not going to find out about themselves.
The Wrong Outlook
There are some people who look at mental and emotional problems in isolation, and this means they don’t look into the other factors that could be involved. What is taking place within them could then be seen as a ‘chemical imbalance’ or put down to genetics.
But as human beings are interdependent and are not separate from their environment, it means that their environment has to be taken into account. Without this factor being looked at, one can end up being taken down the wrong path and end up believing there is something inherently wrong with them.
When one is depressed, it could be a challenge for them to get out of bed and this can mean that each day is a struggle. They can feel as though they have no energy and this is naturally going to affect every part of their life.
It is then not possible for them to embrace each day and they might feel as though they have lost the will to live. So their experience on this earth is not going to be very pleasant and this could be something they have become accustomed to.
If one feels this way, it could mean that they are carrying trapped grief in their body. One may have experienced a loss or a number of losses, but as they haven’t been able to grieve, the pain has remained within them
It could be due the environment that one lives in and how where they live doesn’t meet thier needs. Perhaps they are around people who are abusive and who don’t respect their boundaries.
Another reason why one feels depressed could be due to the fact that they have disconnected from their anger. And this could be something they have done for so long, that they don’t even realise they are doing it.
Anger is often seen as being a ‘negative’ emotion and this can then stop people from being able to integrate it. One can then end up losing touch with their anger and when this happens, they are setting themselves up to suffer.
For example, in order for one to have boundaries, to move forward in life and to speak up, they will need to be in touch with their anger. And to see it as something that has the potential to guide them and to move they forward.
It is neutral and not something that can be described as being either positive or negative. When one is out of touch with their anger, it is going to be normal for them to let others walk all over them, to stay silent or to say what others want to hear and to end up being passive.
Without it, one won’t have anything within them to let them know when they are being violated or when they are not fulfilling their needs. And when one has integrated their anger, it doesn’t mean they always feel angry, it means they will be aware of when something is not right in each moment of their life and their life as a whole.
At A Deeper Level
The reason one has disconnected from their anger will come down to what they believe will happen if they were to embrace their anger. These beliefs were probably formed during one’s younger years.
So if they were to get angry, they might believe that it would cause them to be abandoned and/or for them to be harmed. And if anger has built up within them, they might believe that they would harm others if they were to get in touch with it. One could also end up feeling guilty whenever they experience anger.
The beliefs that one has around expressing their anger could be supported by how they feel in their body. And the reason they feel as they do could be because of the emotional experiences of the past that have remained within them.
It might then be necessary for them to seek the assistance of a therapist or a healer to enable them to process how they feel. Another approach would be for them to question their beliefs and to change their behaviour. It can all depend on what one feels they need in order to integrate their anger and to move forward.
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Oliver J R Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.