In the same way that a child will most likely perform a task better if their parent is speaking to them in a supportive manner, an adult is also likely to be able to perform a task better if they are talking themselves in a supportive manner. Not only this, it will be a lot easier for them to do well in general is this is how they typically talk to themselves.
When one does have the tendency to talk to themselves in a positive manner, they are going to be their own best friend as opposed to their own worst enemy. So, even when there are moments in their life when they come across people who are not particularly polite, there will be no need for them to take it to heart.
What they experience during these moments is then not going to be followed up by them having a go at themselves. How they are treated could just be put down the fact that someone is having a bad day or a sign that they simply speaking to others in the same way that they speak to themselves.
Not A Match
Due to what is taking place in ones inner world, the energy that is given off in moments like this is not going to take root in their being. It will be tantamount to trying to plant a seed in concrete; it just won’t grow.
Still, this is not to say that there won’t be moments in their life when they feel stressed and slightly under the weather, which will make it harder for them to function in this way. Yet, this is not going to be the same as having a strong inner critic, day in, day out.
When they are trying something new, talking to themselves in a positive manner will allow them to experience good feelings. These feelings are likely to make them feel strong and powerful, and even if everything doesn’t go to plan, they will have their own back, so to speak.
What they won’t do is end up verbally abusing themselves for making a mistake or for getting something wrong, for instance. Thus, no matter what happens, their emotional state is unlikely to drop too far down.
And, even when they are not trying anything new, they won’t have a voice inside them that is there to beat them up about what they did - or didn’t do - in the past. There might be things that they would change if they could, but that doesn’t mean they will see this as a reason to lay into themselves.
As a result of this, one will be able to look back and to gain valuable information from their past. Their past won’t be something that they use to make themselves feel as though they are useless or worthless, for example.
If they do feel down, it could be a sign that they have recently lost someone or that something didn’t go to plan. Thanks to them not having a strong inner critic, they will be able to be compassionate towards themselves during these moments.
Positive feelings are going to be a big part of their life, and along with feeling good, it might be normal for them to feel calm and at peace. Undoubtedly, their time on this earth is going to be infinitely more fulfilling that it will be for someone who has a strong inner critic.
A Different Experience
When someone does have a strong inner critic, they might not even realise that this part of them is basically an intruder. For most of their life, they may have had a voice within them that is not on their side.
From the moment they wake up, until the moment they go to bed, it could have something negative to say to them. One is then not going to need to be in the company of someone who is abusive in order to experience abuse or to feel low.
A Constant Battle
They may have tried to fight this voice by achieving things, with this being a way to try to disprove the voice that is within them. But, no matter what they achieve, it is unlikely that this part of them will simply disappear.
This part of them can still tell them how bad or worthless they are, amongst other things. Alternatively, one might have surrendered to this voice, tolerating all the abuse that it gives them.
Trying to fight this inner critic will take a lot of willpower, and when this energy source runs out every now and then, they will be defenceless – it will be like swimming across a lake, only to placed back on the other side shortly after. Ergo, regardless of whether they fight their inner critic or just give in to it, they are likely to be accustomed to feeling down.
This inner critic will make it more or less impossible for them to be able to connect to their inherent value. Unsurprisingly, they could find that without the assistance of external sources (such as food, alcohol, drugs and/or sex), it is incredible difficult for them to experience good feelings.
What one may find is that they were brought up in an environment where their caregivers spoke to them in a similar way to how they speak to themselves. These voices were then internalised, setting them up to experience inner conflict.
The aggressive part of their nature is not going to be on their side; it will be undermining them. This part of them, if it was on their side, could propel them forward and allow them to feel strong and capable; whereas all the time it is directed against them, it is causing them to slowly destroy themselves.
If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.