Depression: Can Toxic Shame Cause Depression?

While someone can feel down from time to time, they can also feel this way on a regular basis. When this is the case, it is going to be a challenge for them to appreciate life, and it may even be a challenge for them to get out of bed in the morning.

Another Experience

Now, when one feels down from time to time, they may find that there are times when they find it hard to embrace each day. However, this is not to say that this is an experience that they have each week.

In fact, this could be an experience that doesn’t even occur a few times a year, and this can then mean that it is not going to have a big effect on their life. And during these moments, they may be only too aware of why their life is this way.

The Contrast

What this comes down to is that one won’t be used to feeling depressed, and so it will be easier for them to pinpoint why they their life has changed. Whereas when one always experiences life in this way, it can end up being what is normal.

Thus, if one was to look back on their life and to remember a time when they were depressed, it could have been when they experienced some kind of loss. As a result of this, the meaning of their life may have completely changed.

Loss

This could have been a time when a relationship came to an end up or when a loved one passed on. Perhaps their job came to an end and they had to find something else to do.

Through experiencing something like this, one would have found it hard to function, but through facing their feelings, it would have enabled them to get back up again, so to speak. This would then be a sign that they have a good relationship with their emotions, and this then allows them to face their feeling instead of running away from them.

Part of Life

It could be said that it is part of life to feel depressed after something like this, and that there is no reason for one not to have this experience. For one thing, having the ability to experience life in this way gives one the chance to appreciate life.

If life was always experienced in one way, it would be a lot harder for one to appreciate it. Therefore, this gives life depth and meaning, and without it, it could be said that it would be a sterile existence.

Grieving

Still, if one didn’t take the time to grieve, they may have found that it wasn’t possible for them to embrace life again. This would then have meant that this experience would have become normal.

Or if it didn’t, it may have meant that they would have ended up becoming emotionally cut-off instead. When this takes place it will be possible for them to function, but they won’t be able to feel anything, and as time passes, a number of different symptoms would appear.

Other Reasons

Having said that, this is not to say that this is the only reason why one would feel depressed in life. It could also be something that they experience at a certain time in the year, and so as the weather changes, their mood will soon alter.
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Along with this, they may find that they experience life is this way when they get angry about something and don’t express how they feel. This will show that the energy that needs to be expressed is being repressed, and as it is kept within them, it pulls them down.

A Different Experience

When one spends most of their life feeling depressed, they may find that they haven’t always experience life in this way. There could then have been a point in their life where everything changed.

At the same time, they may find that their life has been this way for as long as they can remember. If they can relate to the former, it might give them hope that their life can be different; whereas if they can relate to the latter, this might not be the case.

Support

If they were to reach out for support, they could end up being put on antidepressants, or they could be told that it’s due to what is taking place in their mind. And while taking antidepressants might take the pain away, it may also stop them from being able to feel.

But if one was to change what is taking place in their mind (or to alter their behaviour), they may find that this doesn’t have much of an impact It might make a small difference, for instance, but that could be as far as it goes.

Going Deeper

Another approach would be for one to bring their attention into their body, and to connect with how they feel. This could be a time where they will see that they are carrying trapped grief, or they may find that they carry a lot of repressed anger.

Still, while they could find that this is the case, they could also find that there is something else that is having a bigger effect on how they experience life. This could be a time where they will come to see that they feel completely worthless.

Toxic Shame

Through feeling as though there is something inherently wrong with them, it is naturally going to be a challenge for them to feel good about themselves. It will be normal for them to then feel hopeless and powerless.

Based on their outlook, they can believe that there is nothing they can do, and as a result of this, it is to be expected that they will be depressed. This is likely to be a sign that they are carrying toxic shame.

Early Years

The reason they are carrying toxic shame can be due to what has taken place in their adult years, as well as what occurred during their childhood. If it’s because of what took place when they were younger, it can be a sign that they experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect.

Awareness

In order for one to move beyond this, it might be necessary for them to reach out for external support, and this can be provided by a therapist and/or a support group. 

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/