Depression: Why Do Only Some People Feel Depressed When They Are Carrying Toxic Shame?

It has been said that depression is one of the most common mental and emotional problems in today’s world, and while some people might experience it from time to time, there are others who are more familiar with it. This is then not going to be something that affects everyone is the same way.

But while depression can be seen as something that is a bad thing, it could be said that it is not this black and white. In many ways, it might be more accurate to say that depression is a normal part of life.
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A Label

After all, this is a word that is used to describe a number of different symptoms, and these symptoms didn’t simply appear after the word started to be used. The kinds of experiences people have when they are depressed have been around for many, many years.

Now, this is not to say that labelling this experience hasn’t had an effect on how people perceive what is taking place for them, as this is clearly not the case. As a result of the approach that is now taken, it can mean that what was seen as a normal experience in the past is often seen as something that needs to be treated.

The Other Way

Also it would be an oversight to overlook the effect modern day world has had on people’s mental and emotional health. The world is constantly changing and the kinds of challenges people now have to face are not the same as the ones their ancestors had to face in the past.

On one hand, technology has made certain things easier and on the other hand, it had also created more stress. The sheer pace of modern day life causes people to experience a lot of pressure.

The New Normal

What has played a part in changing what were normal experiences in the past to experiences that are now seen as abnormal is the belief that human beings should always be happy. Based on this, only one side of the emotional spectrum has a purpose and the other side needs to be eliminated.

But this is generally not seen as something that will take place through the effort that someone puts in; it is typically seen as something that will happen through consuming something. A number of different drugs can be taken in order for one to achieve this outcome.

Empty

However, this is something that is likely to cause one to be disconnected from life, and instead of feeling happy all the time, they could end up being numb. The experiences they have that would usually cause them to experience discomfort won’t have the same effect on them.

It would then be more accurate to see them as someone who observes life instead of experiences it. Thus, not only do they miss out on all the ‘bad’ moments, they also miss out on the ‘good’ moments.

An Unexpected Outcome

So out of the need to make life better for people (and/or to make more money), the people behind the need to change how people experience life have created even more problems. It could be said that they have simply caused people to lose touch with who they are.

Having the ability to experience life from both sides of the spectrum is then not something that gives life meaning and depth, it is something that needs to be changed. To experience life is this way is not going to be much better than being overwhelmed with pain.

Depression

If one has just experienced loss, it will be normal for them to feel down, and this could be an experience that stays with them for months or even years. It can all depend on who has passed on and the kind of connection they had with them.

What could also create a similar experience to this is when a relationship comes to an end. It might not matter how long they have been together or if they had a strong connection, as they can still feel down.
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Toxic Shame

When one finds it hard to feel good about themselves, they can also be used to feeling depressed. The reason they feel this way could be due to what happened during their childhood years, and this may have been a time where they experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect.

This would have set one up to be shamed-based, and this means that they don’t experience shame from time to time; it will be a regular occurrence. It is then not going to be much of a surprise for them to feel as they do.

Another Experience

Still, this doesn’t mean that everyone who is carry toxic shame will feel depressed, and this is because it is possible for one to disconnect from how they feel. When this happens, one won’t find it hard to feel good about themselves, as they will have created false-self that allows them to experience a false sense of superiority.

This can mean that one will be used to experiencing anger and rage, and this will allow them to elevate their mood. Through being out of touch with their true feelings, it could cause them to be critical of people who are depressed.

A Different Expression

It could then be said that what they a criticising in others is what they have disowned within themselves. But until they are willing to face what is taking place within them, they will continue to behave in the same way.

And while it can be easy for someone who isn’t depressed to see themselves as being in a better position than someone who isn’t, this can be nothing more than an illusion. The only difference can be that one person is caught up in how they feel and another is avoiding how they feel.

Awareness

There could also be moments when one goes from feeling depressed to being angry, or when one goes from being angry to being depressed. When it comes to moving beyond this challenge, it might be necessary for one to work with a therapist and/or a support group.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/