One is going to have moments in their life where having something to look forward to enables them to get through their day, and this could be something that lasts for quite some time. This could be because what they’re doing is something they would rather not be doing or perhaps one is going through a challenging period in their life.
So what they will soon be experiencing will give them the strength to continue and to not give up or to become overwhelmed by their current circumstances. Their current circumstances could come to an end at this point or one might just have the chance to step out of the day-to-day challenges that they usually have.
However, even if ones day-to-day life is not something they want to escape from or avoid, they’re still going to have the need to have things to look forward to. The work they put in each day and the stress that they experience is going to create the need to step out of their day-to-day life from time to time.
This also comes down to the fact that human beings have a wide range of needs and wants. In one moment they could be taking care of a certain need or a number of them and yet, in the back of their mind could be what is going to take place in a few days or weeks for instance.
In a short while then, one will soon experience something else and this will take care of another need or a number of needs that one has. This doesn’t mean that one is unable to enjoy what is currently taking place and to embrace the moment; it means that when they look to the future, they have something to look forward to.
Living In The Moment
The importance of living in the moment can’t be denied, but this doesn’t mean that looking into the past or thinking about the future is therefore a bad thing. For if one can’t look into their past, it could be a sign that they’re avoiding something and if they can’t look into the future, it could mean that one has lost hope and has a sense of resignation
Just as if one is unable to embrace reality and to live in the moment, it could also mean that they’re trying to avoid facing something. In that case, it shows that it is important for one to be able look into the past and to the future, and to be able to live in the moment.
One can get their hopes up and look forward to something, but that doesn’t mean it will actually take place. It could fall through a short while before it is meant to happen or this could take place at the last moment.
This is going to be frustrating and one could end up feeling hopeless, but if it doesn’t happen all the time it could be easier for them to handle. However, if this is an experience that one experiences on a regular occurrence, it is going to be a lot harder for them to take.
A Way Of Life
For some people, this could be a way of life; it is then not something that occurs on the odd occasion, it is a regular occurrence. One is then likely to end up feeling completely hopeless and they might no longer get their hopes up.
Feeling hopeless is then an experience they have become accustomed to and one that may well define their whole life. There could be times when they lose touch with this feeling and they start to rise once more, but before long, they soon return to the feeling of being hopeless.
The reason for this is that although one starts to experience hope once more, they’re soon end up feeling disappointed. And this can relate to all areas of one’s life and then it doesn’t matter where one looks, as the outcome is always the same.
One might find that they make plans with a friend and that nothing takes place or that as soon as they meet someone they connect with at an intimate level, something takes place and it doesn’t go any further. Or it could relate to their career and just as one is about to go to the next level, something happens and they end up feeing deflated.
Up And Down
So one could find themselves experiencing hope and this could cause them to believe that this time it is going to be different and then the same thing happens. Or one might have just given up completely and then no longer experiences hope.
Based on what they have continually experienced, one might have come to believe that this is how their life is always going to be. However, although this can seem how life is and that there is no other option, one could be re-living their childhood all over again.
This could have been a time where ones needs were not met on a regular basis; one might have been severely neglected. Just as one might have been promised things and then as time passed, nothing happened. Being betrayed and feeling let down was then something that took place when one got their hopes up.
Over time, this would have become familiar and therefore what felt safe. So although it only caused one to experience pain, it was something that one started to feel comfortable with. It then didn’t matter that it was an association that would only cause harm, as it was seen as a vital part of their survival.
As these early emotional experiences have stayed trapped in one’s body and have not been processed, they’re going to cause one to re-create the same reality. During these early experiences, one may have felt the following feelings: abandoned, rejected, grief, hopeless, helpless, powerless, betrayed and ashamed.
So as these emotions are faced and released, ones experience of life will begin to change. This process can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver J R Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.