For someone to live a life that is in alignment with who they are, they will need to have a good connection to their own body. The reason for this is that this part of their being will provide them with the guidance that they need.
Their feelings, needs, preferences and desires will be found here; they won’t be found in their head. Still, this is not to say that one will always need to be in tune with themselves in order to live a life that is worth living.
The Modern-Day World
There can be moments throughout their day, and even whole days, when they won’t have much of a connection to themselves. For example, if they spend a lot of time on a computer, this is likely to be a time when they won’t be connected to their body.
Once they have finished working, they may find that they soon settle back down into themselves. Once again, they will have access to the information that is in their body, which will allow them to express their true self.
A Challenging Time
If they were to spend a number of days this way, it could show that they are going through a very stressful time. Perhaps they have recently lost their job or they are having relationship challenges.
This could be an experience that goes on for longer if they have lost a loved one. Due to what is going on, it will be difficult for them to get back into their body and into an embodied state.
Considering this, one will leave their body if they are using technology or engaging in something intellectual. Being in their head will be what is necessary and, apart from not eating when they should or getting enough fresh air, for instance, this won’t be an issue.
Alternatively, they will leave their body to avoid the pain that they would experience if they were to inhabit it. This is not something that they will choose to do, it will automatically take place.
A Very Different Experience
It is then going to be normal for someone to spend some of their time on this planet in a disconnected state. This is simply part of life and not something that can be avoided.
What will lead to problems is when someone is not simply this way from time to time but is practically always this way. Being in a disconnected state is then going to be a way of life, which can mean that they might not even realise that they are this way.
If this is the case, it could illustrate that they have been this way for so long that it just doesn’t stand out. Living on the surface of themselves and being estranged from their body could be how they have been since they were very small.
In general, their point of awareness will be in their head, and this will stop them from being able to connect to the feelings, needs, preferences and desires that are located in their body. Quite simply, they will be strangers to themselves.
By not having a strong connection to their body, it is unlikely that they will feel substantial and as though they have firm foundations. It can be as though they are simply floating in the air, like a balloon on a string, and are not anchored to the earth.
As a result of this, they can often experience fear and anxiety. Along with not feeling connected to themselves, they can find it hard to feel connected to others, too, as their connection to themselves would allow them to feel connected to others.
One will be spending a lot of time in their observer ego and very little time in their experiencing ego. The power in their body that would allow them to change their life will be out of their reach and this is likely to mean that they will often feel helpless.
So, no matter how bleak one area or a number of areas of their life is, they can lack the oomph and motivation to do anything about it and can just tolerate what is going on. Things are likely to get worse as time passes and more “negative” feelings are likely to be accumulated deep inside them.
What’s going on?
If one has been this way a very long time, it could show that their early years were very traumatic. This may have been a time when they were abused and/or neglected on a weekly, if not daily, basis.
What they experienced would have been too much for their undeveloped brain and nervous system to handle, hence why they were often overwhelmed. The only option would have been for them to disconnect from themselves, to dissociate.
As it wasn’t possible for them to fight back or to run away, they had to lose touch with what was going on whilst still experiencing it. If it wasn’t for this survival mechanism, they probably wouldn’t be alive.
Many, many years will have passed since that stage of their life but they will still be in a traumatised state. Their nervous system will be in a highly charged state and this is why being in a disconnected state – no man’s land - will be the only way for them to keep it together and to function; being connected to their inner world and the outside world will be to too much for them to handle.
If one can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.