Disconnected: Can Someone Carry A Lot Of Emotional Pain If They Live In A Disconnected State?22/5/2021
If one spends most of their time on this planet living in their head, it will naturally mean that they will rarely inhabit their body. In general, then, what is taking place in his part of their being will be a complete mystery.
As a result of this, they are not going to have a good connection with their needs and feelings. This is not to say that they won’t be in touch with certain needs, such as their need for food. Pushed Away However, although they will be connected to this need, there could still be moments when they lose touch with it. Therefore, there can be moments when they won’t eat when they need to. This could be something that will take place when they are focused on something, which will take their attention fully away from themselves. For example, if they are using a computer or their Smartphone, this could occur. Vital Information Due to how strong their need for sustenance will be, it won’t be possible for them to completely lose touch with a need like this. So, before long, they will soon have the need to eat something. Nonetheless, when it comes to their other needs, such as their emotional needs, these will also be strong but it will be a lot easier for them to ignore them. In fact, thanks to how disconnected they are from themselves, they might seldom come into contact with them. A Big Difference Not getting these needs met will probably set them up to feel frustrated and even depressed from time to time, but one can do their best to push these feelings away. Also, one might not even know why they often feel this way. This will allow them to carry on living in the same way, without having to experience too much pain. Quite simply, not having their emotional needs met won’t cause their life to come to an end. A Way of Being At times, they might consciously push away how they feel but this could typically be something that happens without them even thinking about it. Furthermore, as they spend a lot of time up top, their ability to feel will be limited. If they were asked about how they experience life, they could say that they don’t feel much. Being numb or in a shut down state is then going to be the norm and, perhaps, how they have been for a very long time. A Build-Up Now, regardless of how shut down they are and how rarely they feel things, life will have had and continue to have an effect on them. There is likely to have been a time when they experienced a loss, for instance, and this pain is likely to have stayed inside them. They may have made out that everything was fine at the time and simply carried on with their life, yet it would have left a mark on them. Their mind would have lost touch with the experience, whilst their body would have held onto it. Other Moments Along with this, there are likely to be numerous other experiences that had a similar effect on them. The emotions that went with each of these experiences would have been pushed out of their conscious awareness, that’s if they even entered their conscious awareness. Considering this, there is a strong chance that they will carry a lot of emotional baggage in their body. Keeping this material at bay will take a lot of energy and the more baggage there is inside them, the harder it will be for them to keep it at bay. A Ticking Time Bomb There could come a point in time when something will happen externally that unlocks a lot of their pain and they end up being wiped out by this inner material. Like a wave, this could just about drown them. At best, they could feel totally overwhelmed, and, at worst, they could end up having a breakdown. The big question is: why would they be in a position where they have the tendency to live on the surface of themselves? A Traumatic Time What this can illustrate is that their early years were anything but nurturing, with this being a time when they were abused and/or neglected on a regular basis. Disconnecting from themselves, something that would have automatically taken place, would have been the only way for them to handle what was going on. What stopped them from being overwhelmed and ending their life at one stage of their life would then have become a way of being at another. This shows that their early trauma would have had a big effect on their personality and character type (Wilhelm Reich). A Brutal Time Their underdeveloped nervous system and brain wouldn’t have been equipped to handle what took place, and, to top it off, they wouldn’t have been able to run away or to fight back. Losing touch with their body, and becoming a divided being (R. D. Laing) in the process, would have been their only option. Most likely, what took place will have had an effect on how both their brain and nervous system is wired. The pain that they have lost touch with throughout their adult life will have been added to the pain that they experienced very early on. Awareness If one can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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