What can be normal is for someone to live in their head and to have a weak connection with their body. In fact, this part of them can be seen as simply being there to support their head.
By having the tendency to live in this way, it can mostly be as though they are nothing more than an observer of life. They are then going to be here and have their own life but this won’t be something that they can generally relate to; it will be as though they are watching life from the outside.
Not having a strong connection with their body may mean that they are somewhat intellectual. It could go even further than this, though, as they could spend most of their life researching and writing.
Either way, they might not have a strong desire to be around people and may be drawn to things instead. So, if they are not drawn to books, for example, they could spend a lot of time watching films or playing video games.
Out of Reach
Most of their needs are likely to be outside of their conscious awareness, which is why they are unlikely to have a strong need to spend time around others. What this will do is leave them with a number of basic needs and perhaps a number of mental needs.
As for their feelings, they are likely to have a very weak connection with this part of them and, at times, they could experience a fair amount of inner tension. To handle this tension, however, they could have a number of activities to keep it out of their conscious awareness.
When it comes to how they often come across, it can be as if they are somewhere else and are not very grounded. In other words, they are unlikely to have a strong presence or appear to have much substance.
Along with this, they could be very easy-going and not have a strong backbone. But, as a lot of their energy is going to be up top, so to speak, and they will be out of touch with the power in their body, this is to be expected.
A Divided Being
Ultimately, they will be a watered-down version of themselves and they won’t be anything like the person that they could be if they were rooted in their body. Now, although this can just be what is normal and how they have been for as long as they can remember, it doesn’t mean that they were simply born this way.
Nonetheless, if this is just what is normal, they are not going to have another way of being to compare it. If they were to step back and reflect on why they experience life in this way, it could show that they have been through something that has shaken them up.
For example, they might have ended up losing their job or got to the stage where living in this way has become too painful and lonely. Thanks to this, they might have ended up wondering what is going on.
They could be totally fed up, at this point, of being in a disconnected state and want to reconnect to themselves and their fellow human beings. If this is how they have been for as long as they can remember, it could be due to what took place at the beginning of their life.
This may show that they were often left and when they were given care, it was largely misattuned care. Consequently, they would have been totally overwhelmed and unable to handle the pain and arousal, causing them to disconnect from their body.
As they were powerless and totally dependent, leaving themselves was their only way to keep it together and survive. Therefore, it is not that they have chosen to be this way; they had to adapt in this way or they wouldn’t be alive.
In addition to what took place when they were an infant, they might have also been deeply traumatised as the years went by. This may have been a time when they were often physically harmed and abandoned.
This would have created an even bigger gap between their mind and their body, that’s if that was even possible. Either way, this would have caused them to accumulate even more pain and arousal.
A Natural Outcome
With this in mind, there is nothing inherently wrong with them; how they experience life is simply a sign that their developmental years were brutal. How they experience life as an adult is going to cause them to suffer but their system did what it had to do to ensure their survival.
In order for them to go from a divided to a connected human being, it will take courage and patience and persistence.
If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they might need to reach out for support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.