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Disempowered: Can A Man Be In A Disempowered State If He Experienced Developmental Trauma?

11/4/2022

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What could be normal for a man is for him to feel powerless and helpless, and this can mean that he will often feel low and even depressed. What will be clear from this is that he will rarely if ever feel strong and powerful.

As a result of this, he is likely to lead a life that is anything but fulfilling, with him simply going through the motions a lot of the time. There could be times when he would be happy to go to sleep and never wake up.

His Experience

There is the chance that he is used to being walked over and taken advantage of by others.  When this happens, he could just put up with it and not make it clear that what has taken place is unacceptable.

What this will show is that he has a high tolerance for bad behaviour and won’t feel comfortable protecting himself. In general, he might not even get angry when this takes place; instead, he could just feel frustrated and low.

Another Area

By being this way, his relationships are unlikely to be very fulfilling. In addition to being waked over when he is at work, the same thing could take place when he is at home and around his friends and family.

If this does take place when he is at home, this could show that he is in a relationship that is not very functional. As for his friends, they could have very little respect for him and see him as someone to humiliate.

A Miserable Existence

When it comes to what he does for a living, he could do something that merely pays the bills but doesn’t do a great deal more. Then again, he might enjoy what he does but he might not be happy with the level that he is at.

If so, he could believe that he doesn’t have what it takes to go to the next level. Doing the same thing and not making progress will be another thing that wears him down and just about takes away his ability to truly appreciate what he does.

Living up Top

Although he may largely feel helpless and low, it doesn’t mean that he will have a good connection to how he feels. Along with this, most of his needs could also typically be a mystery.

This will show that he spends a lot of time in his head and doesn’t have a strong connection with his body. One way of looking at this would be to say that he won’t be embodied; he will be a divided being.

From The Outside

If another person was to describe him, they could say that he is very heady or intellectual; it will then be as though he doesn’t have feelings or instincts. In other words, he will be estranged from the parts of his being that would allow him to feel strong, powerful and alive.

If he was able to step back and reflect on his life, he may see that he has been this way for as long as he can remember. He could then come to the conclusion he was simply born this way.

What’s going on?

Most likely, he wasn’t simply born this way and there is a reason, or a number of reasons, why he doesn’t have a strong connection to himself. What this is likely to illustrate is that his formative years were not very nurturing.

From the moment he was born, he may have typically been neglected and when he was given attention, it is likely to have largely been misattuned care. As he was powerless and totally dependent at this stage of his life, he wouldn’t have been able to do anything about what was going on.

One Option

The only thing that he was able to do was to automatically repress how he felt and go into a shut-down, collapsed, frozen and disconnected state. This wouldn’t have changed what was going on but it would have stopped him from being aware of it.

Therefore, while he probably would have had a good connection to himself when he was born, as time passed, this connection would have been severed. The foundations would have been laid for him to become a disembodied human being.

Pushed Out

He would have been deprived of the love and care that he needed to grow and develop in the right way and he would have had to leave his body. The connection that he had with his feelings and instincts would have been lost.

After this stage, he may have experienced further traumas that loaded his brain and body up with even more pain. For example, he may have been neglected and physically harmed as a child.

It’s over

He would have felt helpless and hopeless as an infant, toddler and child and he was helpless and helpless. There was absolutely nothing that he was able to about how he was being treated.

The parasympathetic, collapsed state that he went into throughout this stage of his life would have stopped him from being overwhelmed with pain but now it won’t be serving him. However, for him to no longer be stuck in this state and to reset his nervous system, he is likely to have a lot of pain and arousal to work through.

Awareness

If a man can relate to this and he is ready to change his life, he may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer. 

​If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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    Oliver JR Cooper

    Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.


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    Disclaimer
    That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.





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