When someone is shown respect, they are likely to respond in a certain way, whereas, if they are not respected, they are likely to respond in another way. However, this is not to say that everyone feels they deserve the same level of respect.
But when someone doesn’t get the level of respect they feel they deserve, it can end up having a negative effect on them. And the type of effect it has will depend on how they interpret to what happens.
Therefore, there is not just what takes place; there is also how one interprets what takes place. Yet, it can be easy for one to take things personally, and when this happens, it won’t matter what the other person’s intentions are.
A Different Experience
If one person was introduced to someone and didn’t receive eye contact, it might end up being overlooked. They may say that the other person was just shy or that they lacked confidence, for instance.
It is then not going to be something that has a lasting impact on how they feel and they will soon forget about what took place. In this case, this may be a sign that they are used to getting eye contact from others and this is why they are able to overlook the experience.
When this happens to someone else, it might not only affect them in that moment, it might also stay with them for some time afterwards. It is then not something they can overlook and this is because they will take what happened personally.
As a result of this, it could be said that they have interpreted the situation differently, and this is why they can’t just let go of what happened. And instead of this being something that rarely happens, this might be something they have become accustomed to.
While there will be times when someone has the intention to disrespect another person, there are also going to be times when this is not the case. The way one treats another person is often more about what is going on for them then what is going on for the other person.
The other person may have had a bad day or being going through a stressful period in their life. They might have a disrespectful personality, and this could mean that they have never been taught how to show respect.
And while a lack of eye contact is one way in which someone can feel disrespected, there are many other ways. This can also take place when one doesn’t hear back from someone and if they are talking and another person talks over them.
What is seen as being a clear sign of disrespected to one person might not be seen in the same way by another. If one feels slighted by something, the people around them may wonder why they are getting so worked up.
If one person feels disrespected, they might end up feeling angry and this could then cause them to speak up. Or they might just feel angry and keep the whole experience to themselves.
However, this could also cause one to act aggressively, and this means they could become violent. Being disrespected is then something that causes them to lose all self-control and to harm another person.
When one is in a position where they feel disrespected, there will be what happened and then there will be how they have interpreted what happened. What has taken place may be a clear sign of disrespect, but at the same time, their response is still going to be influenced by what is taking place in their mind.
One way for them to change how they respond will be for them to take a look at what takes place in their mind and to change their thoughts. Through this, it may be possible for them to develop a greater tolerance for those moments in their life where people are unable to show them the respect that they feel they deserve.
Thinking in the right way will not be the only part of this; it will also be important for one to contain their emotions. For if their emotions are out of control, it might not matter what they think, and this shows how powerful one’s emotions are.
If this is not possible and one has absolutely no emotional control, there may be a greater chance of them acting in ways that are harmful. This may also mean that they haven’t got the ability to think clearly either, and there is then not much chance of them being able change what takes place in their head when they believe they are being disrespected.
So if one doesn’t have the ability to think clearly and they have very little, if any, emotional control, it doesnt take long to realise why they have a low tolerance when it comes to being disrespected. One’s reptile brain can then take over and the response of another triggers a response in them; there is no thought involved.
This can then explain why some people are violent when they are disrespected, and while other people can wonder why they are acting in this way, it might be the only option they have. It is then as normal for them to take it personally and to be violent as it is for someone else to see it as impersonal and then to carry on with their life.
Why Is This?
If one responds to life in this way, it could come down to how they were treated during their younger years. This is likely to have been a time they were abused and neglected by others, and whether being disrespected causes one to be violent or just to feel angry can depend on a number of different factors.
However, these early experiences can also set one up to have a high tolerance to being disrespected. It is then not something that stands out, and this is because it is something they have come to accept.
When one is abused and neglected, they are unlikely to receive the care they need in order to develop their ability to regulate their emotions, and this is then going to make it difficult for them to think. As a result of this, it is then going to make it hard for them to experience self-control.
Being disrespected as an adult can then remind them of what happened during their childhood years and the rage they experienced during this time can come up to the surface. Harming another person is then the only way for them to regulate how they feel.
So if one has a low tolerance for disrespect, it will be important for them to look at what is taking place in their head. And if it is not possible for them to think clearly because of what is taking place at an emotional level, they may need to develop the ability to regulate and contain their emotions.
As they develop their emotional strength, it should be easier for them to think clearly, and they may need to reach out for support in order for this to occur. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist and/or a support group.
Part of this process will also involve working through the emotional pain of the past. Through working through this pain, it will also make it easier for one to be present.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.