About a month ago, I had a call from a publisher that was trying to sell me some kind of publishing package. This was a publisher that had contacted me a number of times in the past and, each time this took place, I made it clear that I was not willing to go down this route.
After I spoke to them on this occasion, they ended up sending me an email and part of this email went into how they could help me to gain the recognition that I deserved for all the work I had done. There might have been a time when this would have pulled me in, but that time was well and truly over.
When I first started writing I was looking for recognition, or should I say the wounded inner child within me was. But through working through my unmet childhood needs and being there for this part of me, this need gradually began to settle down.
As a result of this, I started to think about what I could really offer that would make a difference in people’s lives. I thought that selling books – or anything else for that matter - is all well and good, yet what truly matters is making a difference.
It occurred to me that people often buy books and don’t even get past the first few pages, meaning that it is not enough just for me to sell books. If my priority was to pump up my own ego, it would be enough.
So, while it is good to be recognised, this alone is not going to be enough to motivate me to do anything. As a lot of my work is about healing, it wouldn’t be right for me to simply write things in order for this to happen; if I did, a lot of energy wouldn’t be going in the right direction and my intentions wouldn’t be pure.
What this would show is that I would be looking towards the people who read my work to give me the approval that I didn’t get as a child. This would make it harder for me to tune into my own needs and values.
My focus would be on what is going on externally and not on what is going on internally. This might allow me feel good in the short-term, but what it wouldn’t do is allow me to experience deep fulfilment.
There are plenty of companies that do what they can to tap into someone’s unmet childhood needs, with the hope of making them believe that what they need is out there. In reality, what they are looking for is within them.
When someone gets caught up all this, it can be easy for them to end up spending time and money on things that will only send them down the wrong path. As they begin to let go of the baggage that is within them, this will become clear.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.