Early Deprivation: Can Someone Unconsciously Wait For Their Parents To Take Care Of Them If They Experienced Early Deprivation?

Even though someone is not a child, it doesn’t mean that they will feel like a strong and capable adult. But, if experiencing life in this way is just a normal part of their life, they might not be aware of this.

Another part of this is that they might both consciously and unconsciously do what they can to avoid how they feel. Nonetheless, how they feel is still going to have a big impact on how they experience life.

A Passive State

Due to how they feel, they are likely to spend a lot of time sitting around and not doing a great deal. If they do do something, it could typically be because if they don’t, there will be a negative consequence.

This can relate to them having to go to work, needing to buy food or having an appointment. Their need to survive is then going to play a big part in why something like this will spur them into action.

Another Factor

Other than doing something out of their need to survive, what could also get them moving is if a friend or family member asks them if they would like to do something. By having another person take the first step, then, they might end up taking action.

What this is going to illustrate is that they don’t have much oomph and find it hard to get themselves moving. If they didn’t have to work or buy food, for instance, and no one else reached out to them, they might do very little.

A Power Imbalance

And, when it comes to the people in their life, these people might act more like their parents than their equals. But, even if they don’t, they are unlikely to exercise much autonomy when they are around these people.

So, in addition to them generally being the ones who plan things, they could also make a lot of their decisions. They could even believe that these people know what is best for them.

Flowing By

What is clear is that the years of their life will be going by and they won’t be making the most of them. Based on how they live, it will be as though they are going to live forever.

With this in mind, the sooner that they are able to take life by the horns, so to speak, the better of they will be. It will be essential for them to be able to step back and reflect on their life.

A Closer Look

If they were able to mentally detach from what is going on and reflect on their life, they might wonder why their life is this way. They could see that they are often passive and it’s as though they are waiting for something to happen.

If they have been this way for most of their life, it could show that their early years were not very nurturing. This may have been a time when they were largely deprived of the love that they needed to grow and develop in the right way.

Going Deeper

Throughout this key stage of their life, they might have often been neglected and perhaps physically harmed and verbally put down. By having at least one parent who was not emotionally available and able to truly be there for them, not only would their developmental needs have not been met but they would have experienced a lot of pain.

These needs, along with this pain, would have ended up being repressed by their brain. The years would then have passed and their physical and mental self will have grown, but their emotional self won’t have.

An Endless Search

At an emotional level, they will still be looking for their parent or parents to be there for them. When it comes to their unmet developmental needs, they can have the need to be cared for, held, seen and heard, and supported.

The trouble is that this underdeveloped part of them will cause them to end up in situations that are very similar to their early experiences, in the hope that this time it will be different. Ultimately, this struggle for love will be a way for this part of them to avoid facing the fact that they were not loved by their parent or parents and they will never be loved by them.

Drawing the Line

For them to no longer wait for something that will never happen, they are likely to have a lot of pain to face and work through. This can be a time when they will feel angry, hopeless, helpless and deeply hurt.

This is something that will take courage and patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk