If someone was deprived during their early years, it doesn’t mean that they will realise this. The reason for this is that their brain may have blocked out most if not all of what took place.
However, while what took place will be in the past, the impact that it had on them is likely to continue to influence how they experience life. Therefore, even if they are not aware of most of what took place, it won’t matter.
If they live a life that is anything but fulfilling, then, they could believe that this is just what life is like. Furthermore, they could believe that someone or something ‘out there’ is causing them to suffer.
They could even believe that they are unlucky, with them hoping that their luck will change before long. Along with this, they could spend a lot of time feeling helpless and hopeless and very low.
What can make their life worse is that they can have a job that is anything but fulfilling and not have any close friends. And, if they are in a dysfunctional relationship, this will make things worse.
Based on how they are experiencing life, their life can seem like a curse as opposed to a blessing. What is clear is that the sooner they are able to step back and reflect on their life and reach out for support, the better.
The Next Step
If they were to end up doing this, they could soon come to the conclusion that their early years were not very nurturing. This is because they could consume a lot of material that goes into what can happen when someone is deprived during their formative years.
They could relate to a lot of what is said and soon wonder why it has taken them so long to join the dots, so to speak. But, to allow them to keep it together and function, their brain will have stopped this inner material from entering their conscious awareness.
It is then not that their brain was doing what it could to make them suffer; it was doing what it could to stop them from being overwhelmed with pain and falling apart. Now that they have started to understand what is going on, they will gradually be able to develop a deeper understanding of why their life is the way that it is.
In addition to the pain that they experienced, there will be the developmental needs that were not met and the beliefs that they formed. When it comes to what they came to believe, a number of these beliefs are unlikely to be very accurate or empowering.
A Limiting View
At this stage of their life, they would have been egocentric and their brain would have been underdeveloped, so it’s to be expected that these beliefs won’t serve them. These beliefs will play a big part in how they see themselves, others, and the world.
If they were to take a look into what they believe, they may find that they have some, if not all, of the following:
A Key Point
The beliefs that they have are also likely to be a reflection of what it was like for them during their formative years. Therefore, to solely say that these were simply formed because they were egocentric and their brain was underdeveloped at this stage of their life won’t fully take into account how brutal this stage was.
If they had been born into an environment that was generally welcoming, responsive and loving and this was how it typically was as the years passed, there would have been no reason for them to develop these beliefs. These beliefs would have been conclusions that reflected their reality.
Shinning the Light
Nonetheless, as accurate as these conclusions were, they only reflected what it was like in this environment. And, the person or people who defined what it was like in this environment were probably deeply wounded.
This means that they didn’t reflect the truth and the person or people were unable to see their worth and lovability. Ergo, as true as what they believe will seem, these beliefs are built on sand.
If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.