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So, shortly after I had written the previous article about Yellowstone, titled, ‘Can Someone Learn About Enmeshment By Watching Yellowstone?’, I thought about how I had more to say. In this article, I spoke about how Jamie, John’s second youngest son, is very sensible and reserved and how different he is from his other siblings.
In a way, apart from mentioning that at an emotional level, he is still a boy who craves his father’s acceptance, I created the impression that he is a well-adjusted man. But, although he is more grounded than they are, he is not in touch with his power. A Big Difference Therefore, although Beth and Kayce, his other siblings, are not as balanced as he is, they generally stand up for themselves and are connected to their inner fire. There are a few moments that stand out when I think about how disempowered he is, and these are from the first eight episodes. He is often criticised and humiliated by his sister and generally puts up with it. There is one moment when he ends up hitting her, with this surely being a sign of how impotent he feels. Beaten Down As he has been undermined by her and has absorbed her attacks for so long, he loses it and does something that he probably regrets. Once his father finds out about this, he makes it clear that if he does it again, it will be the end of him. If he had spoken up before and not been a punching bag, he might not have gotten to this stage. There wouldn’t be a build-up of pain inside that he would end up being controlled by. External Support Along with this, it is only after he meets a woman, Katherine, that he is able to start listening to himself and doing what is right for him. This woman, his assistant for his political campaign, essentially gives him permission to be himself. On one level, this can purely be seen as an example of him having met a supportive and loving woman. But, as he is not in his power, she is more like his mother, and, over time, she could become frustrated by his lack of backbone. Taking the Lead There is also one moment when she speaks for him, and there is a chance that she could become controlling as time passes. Based on how passive and unassertive he is, it is not a surprise that he has ended up with a woman who is very active and assertive. Likewise, it is unlikely to be a surprise that she has ended up with someone like this either. She might have an issue with surrendering and letting go, embracing her feminine side, due to what has taken place in her past when she has done so. What’s going on? The big question is: why is he not in his power? From how his father has treated him on so many occasions, it is as though he doesn’t see him as a man. His father appears to have a very fixed idea of what it means to be a man and as Jamie is a man who is somewhat sensitive and not as hardy as his other brother, and even his sister, who is very masculine, he is not respected by him. A Closer Look And, considering how his father treats him as an adult, it is likely that he treated him in a very similar manner during his formative years. His father comes across as very strict and emotionally shut down but, in the flashbacks, he seems more laid back and emotionally responsive. His late wife, Jamie’s mother, also comes across as the parent who is more masculine and in control in the flashbacks. With this in mind, during his formative years, he might have not only had to deal with a father who couldn’t accept his as he was but a mother who couldn’t accept him. The Outcome Assuming that he was a sensitive child and was more tuned into and affected by his parent’s moods, he would have needed to be accepted for who he was. This support would have allowed him to know that there was nothing wrong with him and develop his power. Without this acceptance and him being criticised and rejected, he wouldn’t have been able to grow and develop in the right way. The lack of support and the pain that he experienced as a result would have caused him to reject himself and it would have been too painful for him to be in his body, causing him to live on the surface of himself. A Reminder What may have played a part in why he was not accepted as he was is that he might have reminded his father and mother of a side that they had disowned. They then tried to change him so that they wouldn’t have to come into contact with a part of themselves. Either way, it is likely that they were simply too wounded to be able to love him as he was. Most likely, they also had parents who were unable to accept them as they were and this forced them to lose parts of themselves. Final Thoughts What this illustrates is that beyond the roles that they played, there were imperfect human beings. This is, of course, a series and is not real but the same applies to real fathers and mothers. Fortunately, if someone wasn’t accepted during their formative years and they don’t accept themselves as an adult, they don’t have to stay this way. There is help available and, with courage, patience and persistence, their life can gradually change.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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 Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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