If one reads the paper on a regular basis and/or spends time on social media, they may have heard about people who have been offended by something. Now, one may see that there are times when this is valid, and times when it isn’t.
Part of Life However, if one was to take a step back from all this, they may come to see that being offended is just part of life. It is then not going to be possible for them (or anyone else) to live in a world that always has a positive effect on them. And along with what someone can say that is offensive, they might also see that they also play a part in how they feel. One is then not going to see themselves as being a passive observer of what is taking place. Two Parts Based on this, there is going to be what someone says to them and there is going to be how they interpret what is said. This is why one person can hear somewhere and it can go over their head, and another person can hear the same thing and experience a strong emotional reaction. Perhaps there was a time in their life when they didn’t realise this, and this then caused them to believe that other people are in control of how they feel. Yet, through developing self-awareness, it will have allowed them to see what was taking place. An Investment In the beginning, this may have caused them to experience a lot of pain, and they may have had moments when they wondered if it was worth it. But through sticking to this process and developing the ability to observe what is taking place within them, it would have allowed them to take their power back. If one continued to behave in the same way, they would still believe that other people are in control of their emotional responses. Consequently, there would have been the need for them to control what other people can or can’t say. Oppression One would be in a position where they believe that other people are trying to control them, and trying to control what other people say would be a way for them to change this. Fortunately, this didn’t take place and one was able to see what part they were playing. This is not to say that one didn’t behave in this way when they were unaware of what part they were playing in all this. If one was to look back at this stage in their life, they might find it hard to understand how they could have been so unaware. Moving On The main thing is that they have been able to get on the right track, and this will allow them to use their time and energy more productively. And as one is only going to be on this planet for so long, they are not going to have time and energy to waste. If one is living a life that is deeply meaningful, it will stop them from being distracted by the trivialities of life. Nevertheless, if something does have a negative effect on them, they will have the ability to look into why this is. A Different Reality When someone has the tendency to be offended, they are going to have a completely different outlook. As far as they are concerned, what takes place within them will be seen as something that is defined by what other people say to them, or what other people say in general. Thus, the other way their life is going to change is if other people do, and this could cause them to see themselves as a victim. The people who offend them are then going to be the perpetrators. The Evidence What this is likely to show is that one’s primary focus is on how they feel, and this is going to be what guides them. The thinking part of their brain will have been put to one side and they won’t be operating as a whole human being. It is then not going to matter if how they feel doesn’t have anything to do with reality, as anything that goes against how they feel will end up being cast aside. One is then caught up in a subjective world and in this world, their emotions are more important that anything else. Backwards Rationalization But although their thinking brain will be offline in the early stages, it wouldn’t be inaccurate to say that it will stay this way. The reason for this is that one will use this part of their brain to explain why their feelings are justified. As a result of this, one can end up coming across as though they are behaving in a way that is entirely rational. It is then not that they lack the ability observe what is taking place within them and to regulate their own emotions; it is that other people are in control of how they feel. The Moral High Ground What will make it easier for one to continue to behave in this way is that there are plenty of people who have the same outlook in life. This can stop one from coming to terms with the fact that they are emotionally undeveloped. Instead, one can see themselves as being better than the people who are offending them. These people will be the ones who will need to change their behaviour, and there will be no reason for them to change. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it is going to be necessary for them to develop their ability to observe what is taking place within them and to regulate their emotions. They may also find that they are carrying trauma in their body, and this could be what is causing them to be overwhelmed by their emotions. Through developing this ability and dealing with the pain that is in their body, it might enable them to act in a more conscious manner. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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