Emotional Depth: Can Embracing Our Pain Lead To Greater Emotional Depth?

Although some people have the ability to feel every emotion on the spectrum, there are others who are only able to express certain emotions. This is similar to how some people can speak a language fluently and others can only speak a few words, if that.

The person who can speak a language fluently is going to be in a far better position than the person who can’t. They will be better equipped in their conversations with others and this is because not only will one be able to understand what others are saying, they will also be able to express themselves.

So when one is in touch with their emotions, it will give them a greater ability to understand others and it will also allow them to express themselves. Without this, one is going to find it hard to understand what others are feeling and it is not going to be possible for them to express themselves fully.

A Few Words

As one is in the same position as someone who can only speak a few words when it comes to another language, they are not going to experience life in the same way as someone who is in touch with how they feel. When it relates to another language, one is only going to be effected when they are in certain countries or when they are talking to people from those countries.

But in the case of someone who is emotionally inhibited, they won’t need to visit another country or to find someone who speaks another language. All they will need to do is to find someone who is close by and one is going to find it hard to relate on an emotional level.

Normal

There are going to be some people who have always been in touch with how they feel, and this is therefore normal. Just as there are going to be people who have always been out of touch with how they feel, with this also being normal.

Yet there are going to be people who had to develop this ability later on in life and this means that one will know what it is like to experience life differently. When someone hasn’t experienced life differently, it could mean that they have never thought about what it would be like to experience life differently.

A Richer Life

If one was to have a meal where everything tasted the same, it is unlikely to be very fulfilling. When they have a meal that has different foods, and each one compliments the other, it is going to be far more fulfilling.

And the same can be said when it comes down to people who are in touch with how they feel. One’s life is going to be far richer than it would be if they could only experience certain emotions or if they couldn’t feel anything.

Embracing Both Sides

When one is in touch with how they feel, it is going to mean that they embrace how they feel. It then won’t matter if they feel good’ or ‘bad’, as they will allow each side to appear within them.

For is it only through embracing both sides that one is able to maintain their emotional connection. If one was to avoid their so-called ‘bad’ feelings, they would soon lose their ability to feel ‘good’. And this is because each side depends on the other and they are not separate.

A Whole Human Being

When one embraces how they feel, it is going to enable them to live in their body as opposed to living in their head. One then doesn’t just look like a whole human being on the outside; they feel like one on the inside.

However, if one was to avoid their feelings, there is the chance that they will soon lose contact with their body. Their body is still there, but how they feel in their body is going to be a mystery.

The Modern-Day World

This disconnection is not something that will happen overnight and it’s not necessarily something that happens during ones adult years (as it could have happened during their childhood), it is going to take time. If it happened during one’s childhood, then it could mean that one has never had this connection.

Yet in the modern-day world, emotions are often overlooked and this means that people are often at a loss as to what do when they experience pain. When one can’t regulate how they feel and they don’t feel comfortable reaching out for support, they can end up being drawn to things that can cause them to disconnect from how they feel.

A Shallow Existence

And when one is unable to live in their body and to embrace how they feel, they can end up looking outside for things to make them feel better. This is not ‘bad’ per se, as human beings are interdependent and rely on external things in order to feel good, what makes it ’bad’ is when one relies on things that will harm them in the long-term.

One is then living on the surface of themselves and while it could seem as though they are escaping from external factors, ultimately, they are running away from their own body. Yet, if they were to go deeper and to look below the surface, it is going to trigger their pain.

Embracing Pain

While it can be easy to judge people who lack depth and live a life of escapism, they are going to have a good reason for it. Their body is going to be carrying a lot of emotional pain and the actions they take are then a way for them to keep this pain at bay.

This is not to say that one aware of this, as it could be something that happens outside of their awareness. They are driven by their need to avoid pain and emotional depth is likely to be the last thing on their mind.  But if one wants to experience emotional depth, it will be important for them to process their emotional pain.

Awareness

If one has disconnected from their feelings and has an emotional build-up, it is going to be important for them to seek external support. A therapist/healer and/or a support group can provide the support that one needs to gradually get in touch with their feelings and release them.

Through being around others who understand how they feel, one will gradually develop emotional intelligence. One will also begin to develop the ability to regulate how they feel and to feel comfortable enough to reach out to others when this is not possible.

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Oliver J R Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/