Emotional Intelligence: The Importance Of Processing Our Emotions

I have recently had an interesting experience. And upon close reflection, I believe this experience has explained how important it is to process our emotions and to limit their accumulation.  I believe it also explains at a deeper level, what is meant by; we are not just the observers of our reality and that if we experience or our exposed to something, then it is always a mirror of what is going on for us at some level. It shows the power we have on our environment and the connection between the inner and outer world.

So here, based on my own subjective experience of what happened, I will do my best to put into words everything I have observed, before, during and after the occurrence.

The Experience

After a day that had moments of frustration and anger, I decided to go for a drive and instead of taking the road that was familiar to me I decided to take a completely different route. At the beginning of the journey, I said emphatically to myself ‘something has got to happen’, referring to my own need for a change to happen in my life. It was a feeling of needing a release of some kind.  A few moments after this had happened, the car I was following, pulled out too soon and ended up with another going into its side. Now as strange as this might sound, I felt an emotional release as this happened and felt mentally and emotionally better for a short while afterwards.

The Metaphors

The point of focus is not on the literal occurrence, (fortunately no one was injured or hurt, at least not physically) the primary focus here is on the metaphors of the experience.

The Awareness

Two things come to mind for me and they are: everything that happens in our reality is showing us something and that if we don’t release or express our emotions they will manifest in some shape or form in our reality. This could manifest as a heated conversation or witnessing or even being in a car crash. And although there is a literal meaning to each, I also see that there is a metaphorical meaning also involved.

Instant Manifestation

This event has also demonstrated how fast we can manifest in our life when there is a high level of focus, emotion and certainty involved. It could be said that how I felt throughout the day and maybe even before then attracted the event and maybe how I felt just before what happened attracted the experience into my life.

Are We Just Observing The Drama And Conflict In The World?

It has also shown to me that the drama and tension in the world is not just something we are observing. And that if we are not taking responsibility for our own emotional wellbeing, we could actually be feeding into these very events at a deeper level. The other side to this is that these events could also be a form of catharsis at a local level and also at a global level. With their also being an unconscious need for conflict and drama to happen, as a way for our own body to release repressed emotions.

Releasing Our Emotions

It also highlighted to me how important it is to let go and express our emotions. Life might not always give us what we want or as fast as we want it and this can naturally lead to frustration and other similar emotions. All of which can build up within us if they are not released in some way. With this release being a constant process in our life and not a one off occurrence, although it can be a different need each time that is causing the internal conflict.

This process of releasing our emotions can be through the achievement or closure of a certain goal or need that we perceive is causing us to feel as we do. And if we haven’t got to that stage then it could be through other means that will give us a short term or momentary release; such as exercising, socialising, eating, martial arts, writing, volunteering and many other activities.

With emotions being so abstract in nature and not having the same requirements as a physical problem, there can be confusion with how to go about dealing with them. I believe it is out of this confusion and also the denial of them that is one of the causes of the drug, crime, alcohol and health problems in our society.

Where Did The Confusion Begin?

When it comes to our early education and even our education into our teenage years; there is typically not one subject or lesson that explains how our emotions work and or how to deal with them. The majority of our education is made up of subjects that represent the left brain; which are about logic and reason. However, it is clear to see that when we are feeling highly emotional, using logic won’t get us very far.

Of course it could be argued that it is up to people to take responsibility for their emotional health. And some people do and some people don’t. But the question I ask is; if we are not taught about these aspects in our younger years, why would we even think about doing something about them later on in life!? As after years of emotional accumulation and the suffering that this causes, the last thing we typically want to do is have to face them.

We are also conditioned to believe that we are our mind; when in reality we are the observers of the mind and not the mind itself. Realising this gives one the opportunity to step back, to observe ones emotions, instead of constantly trying to fight them.

Drugs, Alcohol and Food

So naturally there will be a tendency for the use of drugs, alcohol and even food to numb our emotions that can cause us so much pain and frustration. My outlook is that; if we are not informed about the nature of emotions during our education; then these substances can seem like the only option available for many people. Of course they can be judged and condemned, but I think it is important to question why they are being consumed in such large amounts in the first place.

Final Thoughts

After many years of emotional neglect; there importance and how they not only affect individuals, but society as a whole is beginning to become clear. Through the work of people like Daniel Goleman and his work on emotional intelligence and the EQ model awareness is ever increasing.

I don’t believe Emotions are the ‘be and end all’ of life; however I believe they are a vital element in leading a happy and functional life.

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Oliver J R Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/