After someone has experienced loss, they could end up experiencing emotional pain. When it comes to how severe this pain is, it can all depend on who has passed on.
So, if a family member has passed on, the amount of pain that they are in could be unbearable. Through being in so much pain, one could reach out for the support of family and friends. Additional Help This might not be enough, though, and one might end up reaching out for professional assistance. Perhaps their friends and their family are unable to be there for them on a regular basis. It could be said that this is just part of life as these people are going to have their own responsibilities to deal with. There is also the chance that these people are also in a lot of pain and haven’t always got the energy to be there for them. The Sensible Approach The main thing here is that one will be embracing how they feel, and this will allow them to gradually embrace life once again. This doesn’t mean that they will ever ‘get over’ what took place; what it means is that they won’t stay stuck in this emotional place forever. Additionally, one may also allow themselves to cry when they need to or during certain times. What this will illustrate is that one has a healthy relationship with the emotional part of their being. Just One Example If this is the case, it is going to be normal for them to embrace how they feel. Therefore, regardless of whether someone passes on, a relationship comes to an end, or something else takes place that has an impact on them, they will go with how they feel. It is not going to be an issue for them to cry or to get angry, for instance, which may generally stop too much emotional pain from building-up inside their body. This is going to allow them to operate as whole human being. Two Sides Of course, there will be times when facing how they feel will be hard, even overwhelming, but it will be worth it. The reason for this is that having a good connection with their feelings will benefit their life in a myriad of ways. For one thing, it will give them the ability to form deeper connections with others, and this wouldn’t be possible if they were emotionally disconnected. Also, their feelings will give them the guidance that they need to live a fulfilling. A Different Experience For someone else, it could be normal for them to deny how they feel after they have experienced loss. It is then not going to matter what kind of loss takes place as they will respond in the same way. Through taking this approach, they may believe that the emotional pain they were in has simply disappeared. Yet, although it may seem as though is the case, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Disconnected In reality, their mind will have lost touch with their body and this part of them will still be carrying their feelings. However, as their point of awareness is generally in their head, this is unlikely to occur to them. To maintain the illusion that they have created, it will be vital for them to do what they can to stay out of their body. If this doesn’t take place and they were to get back in there, they would end up being overwhelmed by emotional pain. Twp Parts Living on the surface of themselves may allow them to be successful when it comes to their career, for instance, but it unlikely that they will be able to experience intimacy or to live a life that is deeply fulfilling. It could also be a real challenge for them to relax and to just be; if they were to settle down, all the pain that is inside them could start to rise up. Being on the go just about all of the time, acting like a ‘human doing’ as opposed to a ‘human being’, will be a way for them to avoid themselves. Nonetheless, this kind of behaviour is often seen as a sign that someone is ‘driven’ or has ‘high self-esteem’, so very few people are likely to realise that something isn’t right. What’s going on? If someone has the tendency to avoid how they feel as an adult and to live in their head, this could be something that has taken place for as long as they can remember. Perhaps, their early years were a time when they didn’t receive the attunement that they needed to develop in the right way. As a result of this, leaving their body and getting into their head would have been the only way for them to stop themselves from being overwhelmed. The years will then have passed, but staying out of their body will still be a way for them to stop themselves from being taken out by how they feel. A Build-Up Their body can then carry the emotional pain that they avoided as a child and it can carry all of the pain that they have avoided as an adult. The longer they avoid themselves in this way, the more pain there will be. With this is mind, the sooner that they face this pain the better it will be. Facing this pain is what will allow them to not just look whole on the outside, but to feel whole on the inside. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they will most likely need to reach out for external support. This can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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