If one wanted to change how they feel, they could end up focusing on their appearance. There are a number of reasons as to why they would do this, and one reason is because of the society they live in.
In today’s world, a lot of attention is placed on the external, and as a result of this, it can be normal for people to spend a lot of time on their appearance. This can even go one step further, and this means that it will be an obsession.
Thus, if one was to focus on how they look, it is not going to be hard for them to find people who are doing the same thing. Along with this, they will also find that there are plenty of ways for them to change how they look.
On one hand, one could change their hairstyle or join a gym, for instance, and on the other hand, they could have some kind of cosmetic surgery. The route they take can all depend on what their current situation is.
However, even though one could be in a position where it might only be necessary for them to make a few minor alternations; they could believe that this is not the case. Based on this, other people could say that there is nothing wrong with how they look, but it is not going to be possible for them to accept this.
For example, one could believe that they need radically change their appearance, and this may even include having surgery. Now, while their friends could be saying they look fine to avoid upsetting them; they could be telling the truth.
A Different View
One way of looking at this would be to say that one is unable to see themselves clearly, and this then sets them to have an idea of themselves that doesn’t match up with reality. And even if they were to change their appearance through having surgery, they may find that it doesn’t have a lasting effect on how they feel.
Therefore, one could end up having something else done, and this whole process could go on and on. At the same time, there could be a reason for one to take this approach, and after having something done, they could feel so much better and that could be the end of it.
Thinking Things Through
What this shows is how important it is for one to take the time to think about whether it would be the right thing for them to do. And to also look into whether there is actually something wrong with their appearance as opposed to something wrong with what is taking place within them.
As if it does relate to what is taking place within them and not their appearance, they will save themselves a lot of pain by placing their attention on what is taking place within. This may cause one to experience more pain in the short-term, but it will save then a lot of pain in the long-term.
The General Approach
However, if one as to make a few minor changes, it might not be long until they start to look different. This will be the case if they were to change their hairstyle or to get a sun tan, for instance.
On the other hand, if they needed to lose weight, it is naturally going to take them a little while longer. Yet as long as they stick to a plan, the work they put in will soon pay off, and their health could also improve.
Once their appearance changes, one may find that they start to feel different, and if they are in the process of losing weight, for instance, this will give them the motivation they need to keep going. One reason why they will feel different is because of how they look in the mirror, and if they find it easier to wear certain clothes, this will also play a part.
Another reason they will feel different is due to the responses they are receiving from other people. The positive feedback that they receive from others will end up having a big effect on their well-being.
Defined By Others
If one is unable to feel good without receiving positive feedback from others, they may find that this gives them a greater need to look good. It could also cause them become obsessed with their appearance.
Still, all the time that one is receiving positive feedback from others, they might not realise how dependent they are. They will be feeling good about themselves and that will be the only thing that matters.
A Big Impact
What this shows is what can happen when one takes care of their appearance, and so if one wanted to feel good, it will be a good idea for them to look good. Based on this, it could be said that it should be normal for people who look good to feel good about themselves.
Another way of looking at it would be to say that the people who are seen as attractive in society will be immune to feeling down or depressed, for instance. They look good and so there will be no reason for them to suffer emotionally.
A Closer Look
It could be said that this would be going a bit far, as everyone has moments in their life where they don’t feel good, and this is partly because we all experience loss no matter what we look like. This is something that can’t be defined; however, that doesn’t mean that that’s the end of it.
There are also plenty of people who don’t feel good about themselves even though they look good, and if they do feel good, it could be an experience that soon passes. For example, there are plenty of models and actors who have the looks and the money, and yet they end up in rehab.
Thus, is could be said that it would be naive for one to believe that their emotional state depends on how they look. Still, this is not to say that it doesn’t have an effect and that one should neglect their appearance; what it emphasises is how important it is for one to have a balanced approach.
It will also be important for one to have a healthy relationship with their emotions, and for them to work on other areas of their life, such as their relationships. If one finds that they find it hard to feel good about themselves, no matter what they do to their appearance, it might be necessary for them to reach out for the right support.
This can be provided by a therapist and/or a support group.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.