If someone finds it hard to be emotionally balanced and to experience inner peace, there is the chance that their early years were not very nurturing. This may have been a time when they experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect.
The time in their life that should have built them up would have undermined them. As a result of this, their adult life could be one big struggle, with them having moments when they wonder why they were even born.
The Past Is Present
What they went through will be in the past, that much is clear, but what took place will have had an impact on their body and mind. Also, the pain that they experienced at this stage of their life will most likely be held in their being.
If they were to get in touch with their body and to connect with how they feel, they could feel like a wounded child. The reason for this is that although their thinking brain has a sense of time, their emotional brain doesn’t.
Bearing in mind that they have a mind and body that carries the effects of what took place when they were younger; it won’t be enough for them to simply focus on what is going on up top. If they only focus on what is going on in their head, they will overlook what is taking place down below.
This will then be similar to seeing a weed and only cutting off the top; what is taking place below the ground won’t be dealt with. Each part of their being will need to be addressed if they are to change how they experience life.
When it comes to what is taking place in their body, this is likely to support what is taking place in their mind. Therefore, by dealing with what is taking place in their body, their mind can end up settling down.
They will be dealing with the root so this is to be expected; whereas if they were to avoid the root, what is taking place in their mind would continue to be nourished. Getting into the body is painful, yet it will be pain that is worth facing.
An Important Part
One way that one can let go off the pain that is in their body is by doing inner child work. So when they get in touch with how they feel and they find that they feel like a wounded child, this will show that they have got in touch with a child part of themselves.
One way of looking at this would be to say that whenever one felt overwhelmed as a child, they would have disconnected from how they felt in order to survive. This part would have stayed inside them and influenced their life from behind the scenes.
A Fractured Being
Through having so many split-off parts, it will make it more or less impossible for them to be truly present and to be in their power. Ergo, as they get in touch with each of these parts/inner children and allow each part to speak out, they will gradually become a more integrated human being.
There were probably thousands of moments in their early years when they felt overwhelmed, which means that they may have many different parts inside them. And as these parts will want to express what they were unable to express all those years ago, it will mean that one won’t need to change or to fix anything.
The Power of Presence
At this stage of their development, it might be hard for them to just be with how they feel. Thanks to how much pain they are carrying, they may have the need to push down how they feel and to get away from what is taking place inside them.
What this will show is that they need to reach out for external support. Through being in the presence of a therapist or a healer, for instance, they will be able to go where they wouldn’t go by themselves.
It Takes Time
The emotional strength that they lack internally will be provided by someone else and, as they work through their inner wounds, they will start to develop emotional strength. There will then come a point in time when they won’t need as much external support and they will be able to work through their inner wounds by themselves.
Like a weak muscle, this part of their being will need to be built up. Reaching out for support might be hard if they are carrying a fair amount of toxic shame, yet it will be what allows them to move forward.
This all starts with one taking the first step and, if this is hard, they can think about what their life will be like if they continue to live in the same way. One had no control over what took place when they were younger but now they are an adult, they do have control.
The truth is that they didn’t deserve to experience what they experienced and it wasn’t their fault. With this in mind, one can make a commitment to themselves that they will reach out for the support that they need and keep going until they are able to transform their life.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.