Emotionally Disconnected: Can Childhood Trauma Cause Someone To Disconnect From Their Emotional Self?
In the same way that different tools serve a different function, different parts of someone's being are the same. When it comes to their physical body, this part will give them the ability to move and to get things done.
Their emotional body/self will be what brings their life to life and allows them to feel connected to others and life itself. As for their mental body/self, this will allow them to think about life, reflect and make plans.
A Key Role
Taking this into account, it is clear that each part of one's being plays a vital role in what will allow them to live a fulfilling life. When each part of them is functioning, they will operate as a whole human being.
They won't just look whole; they will actually be a whole human being and their life will reflect this. When someone doesn't have access to each part of their being, then, their life is not going to be what it would be otherwise.
However, even if someone is not operating as a whole human being, it doesn't mean that they will be aware of this. The reason for this is that this can just be what is normal and how their life has been for as long as they can remember.
Even so, as they are this way, their life is not going to be anything like how it would be if this wasn't the case. Now, if their emotional self is not online, so to speak, they are likely to have a certain experience.
Point of Awareness
By being this way, they are likely to spend a lot of time in their head, which means that they are likely to do a lot of thinking. If they are able to be in their body, it could be because they have taken something, for instance.
As a result of this, they are likely to typically feel disconnected from others and life itself. Their primary way of connecting to others is likely to revolve around ideas and information.
Based on how they come across and experience life, it could be said that they will be like a walking intellect. It can be as though they don't have an emotional self, due to how prominent this other part of them is.
Nonetheless, although this can be how they will come across, they will still have an emotional self that is far bigger than their mental self. If the two were compared, their mental self would be like a ship on the ocean and their emotional self would be the ocean.
What's going on?
If this is so, how could this person come across as though they don't have an emotional self? While this may just be what is normal, there is going to be a reason why they are this way.
In all likelihood, they would have been in tune with their emotional self when they were born. This would have also been a stage of other life when their mental self was in an underdeveloped state.
If they were in tune with their emotional self when they were born, something must have taken place that destroyed this connection. Just as if the water in a stream stops flowing, it must be because something has blocked the flow.
But, even if this flow has been stopped, the water is still on the other side, ready to come through. In the same way, their emotional self is still there trying to express itself but it has been blocked off.
What's going on?
What this is likely to illustrate is that, throughout this stage of their life, they felt overwhelmed. This would have caused them to repress how they felt until they ended up being emotionally shut down.
It was then not that they chose to be this way; it was that they ended up this way as it was the only way for them to survive a deeply challenging time in their life. The big question is: why did they often feel overwhelmed?
A Closer Look
This may show that they were often neglected during this time and had no one there to soothe them. When there was someone there, this person may have lacked the ability to tune into their needs and provided them with the right things at the wrong time, and thereby, over-stimulated them.
Without the ability the do anything about what was going on, disconnecting from themselves was the only way for them to handle the pain that they were in. Thus, what allowed them to handle one stage of their life would have become part of their character at another and will be what is now causing them to suffer.
Beyond the defences and armouring that they have in place to keep this part of them at bay will be a lot of pain. Most, if not all, of the pain that they experienced all those years ago, will have remained locked in their body.
Consequently, no matter how developed their intellect is, their emotional self will be in a very underdeveloped state. If they were to connect to this part of them, they could end up feeling like a powerless, scared and dependent child.
If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article.
Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
To book your free 15-minute consultation, click here.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.