Emotionally Disconnected: Do Some People’s Childhoods Set Them Up To Disconnect From Their Emotions?

It has been said that if human beings were unable to experience emotions, it would to lead to a very bleak existence. This is, in part, due to the fact that it would cause them to feel dead inside and this would make it hard for them to feel connected to anything.

Emotions are what allow human beings to feel alive and to experience a deeper connection to everything on the planet. In a way, a life without emotions is like black and white image; whereas a life with emotions is like an image that is full of colour.

A Life of Colour

So, when someone is in touch with their emotions, they will feel as though they are part of life. They will feel connected to themselves, the planet they live on, and their fellow human beings.

And through being aware of how they feel, it will also allow them to know what they need. Through being aware of what they need, they will have the chance to fulfil their needs.

Fulfilment

Meeting their needs will play a big part in allowing them to lead a life that is fulfilling. Whether it relates to their need to experience intimacy or to achieve something, for instance, their emotions will provide them with vital information.

Therefore, if it wasn’t for this information, it wouldn’t be possible for them to know what their needs were. Having this information at their fingertips is then going to be part of what allows them to live a purposeful existence.

A Life of Depth

Being in tune with how they feel will mean that there will be moments when they feel great and moments when they don’t, but this is just part of life. It will be through being able to feel bad that they will be able to appreciate feeling good.

If they only had the ability to experience one side of the emotional spectrum, they would soon become accustomed to how they feel. Their life would become one dimensional and no longer have the same meaning.

Intimacy

And not only will being in tune with how they feel inform them as to when they need to connect to another person; it will also enable them to understand how other people feel. This is then akin to how someone will be able to understand another language if they can speak the same language.

In this case, they will understand emotional language – an incredibly important language when it comes to experiencing deeper connections with others. Said another way, they will be emotionally literate.

Disconnected
On the other hand, when someone is not connected with how they feel, it can be normal for them to believe that life has no meaning. This can also take place even if one is rarely in tune with how they feel.

As a result of being out of touch with themselves, it can set them up to feel as though they are not connected to anything else. They will then be one of the many human beings on the planet, but it will be as though they are all by themselves.

Another Consequence

When someone is not in touch with how they feel, it is likely to mean that they are not in touch with their body. The reason for this is that their feelings will be in their body, not their mind.

Through living in their head and being estranged from their body, it can set them up to see themselves as an observer of life. So, instead of feeling as though they are part of life; it will be as if they are on the outside looking in.

Unreactive

From the outside it might seem as though nothing ever fazes them; they might even be seen as being stoic. However, while they might receive positive feedback from the outside, on the inside they will feel dead.

It is then not that they are not fazed by life; it is that they are emotionally shut down and unable to connect to their body. Thus, there is no reason for them to be seen as someone to emulate.

Another Sign

But, as emotional expression is often seen as something that is negative, it is not a surprise that not showing emotion is often seen as something positive. And, if they are out of touch with how they feel, it will probably mean that they are unable to cry either.

Crying is incredibly important as it is a way for someone to let go of ‘negative’ emotions, thereby allowing them to move forward in life. Without this ability, someone can feel stuck and unable to make progress.

Divided

Through being disconnected from their body, it is going to be a real challenge for them to connect with how they feel. Their body will be just below their head, but it will be as if they are trying to connecting with something that is a million miles away.

It is highly unlikely that they just ended up this way, though; something will have happened to cause them to be this way. What this can show is that there was a time in their life when it wasn’t safe for them to be in their body.

Two Parts

There was probably something taking place externally that caused them to feel as though their life was under threat and this would have caused them to feel overwhelmed internally. Consequently, disconnecting form their body, along with their emotions, would have been a matter of survival.

This may have been something that took place at some point during their adult years, but there is a greater chance that it took place during their formative years. Day after day, year after year, they may have lived in an environment where it wasn’t safe for them to be in their body and to embrace how they felt.

Early Trauma

Perhaps this was a time when they experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect. The safety and security and the guidance that they needed to stay connected with their body wouldn’t have been provided.

What was taking place externally would have caused them to gradually disconnect from their body and emotions. What this comes down to is that one would most likely have been born with a strong connection with their body, but due being brought up in an unstable environment, this would have gradually changed.

Awareness

If they were brought in an environment that was safe and secure, they would have stayed connect to their body, and, with the right guidance, it would have allowed them to develop emotional literacy. Now that they are an adult, it will be up to them to redevelop the connection that they had with their body when they were born and to become emotional literate for the first time.
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When it comes to dealing with the trauma that is within them and being able to understand their emotions, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk