Emotionally Disconnected: Why Do Some People Disconnect From Their Emotions When They Are Around Others?
Ideally, someone will be in tune with how they feel when they are around others; the reason being that it will allow them to function as a whole human being. Through being aware of how they feel, they will be able to connect to how other people feel and to connect to their own emotional needs.
Naturally, other people are going to appreciate their ability to connect to how they feel and to empathise with them. And, being in tune with their own needs will allow them to express what is taking place for them and to assert themselves.
Fully Showing Up
Ultimately, one will be in touch with their body when they are around others and this will allow them to be present and to embrace the moment. They won’t just be stuck in their head; every part of them will be there.
Other people are also likely to get a sense that they are there, too, as opposed to being somewhere else entirely. This can allow them to feel as though they matter and that one values them.
A Different Reality
But while this will be the ideal, it is not going to be what takes place for everyone when they are around others. What will be the norm for some people is disconnecting from their body and losing touch with how they feel.
When this takes place, it is not going to be possible for someone to fully show up. Instead, only a small part of their being will be there, meaning that the rest of them will be offline, so to speak.
Due to this, one is unlikely to feel strong and grounded; they could feel unstable and as though they have no control. Being out of touch with their own feelings will make it hard for them to truly connect to how other people feel.
Their emotional needs are also going to be a mystery, with them only being aware of their mental needs. When they are around others, then, they are typically going to be estranged from themselves.
Therefore, expressing their true-self around others is going to a challenge. Even so, most, if not all, of the people that they spend time with might not realise that they are not fully showing up.
As far as most of these people are concerned, how one typically comes across could just be seen as what they are like. Some people might describe them as being fairly emotionless or an ‘intellect’, for instance.
A Different Environment
When there are moments when all of them shows up, this might only take place when they are around certain people or in certain settings. If this is the case, it might be hard for one to understand why this takes place.
With that aside, one could find that when they are by themselves, it generally isn’t hard for them to connect to how they feel, with them being able to fully connect to their body. There is then going to be what they are generally like when they are by themselves, and around some people and some settings, and what they are generally like around others.
A Strange State of Affairs
When they think about what normally takes place when they are around others, they could struggle to comprehend what is going on. It could seem as though something just takes over and causes them to disconnect from their body.
This could be how their life has been for as long as they can remember, which could cause them to believe that they were simply born this way. Whatever they believe about what is going on, they could see themselves as nothing more than a powerless victim.
A Closer Look
Now, while it may seem as though this is something that just happens, and that one has no control, this is not the truth. But, in order for them to change how they experience life, they will need to change what is going on inside them.
The big question is: what is actually going on? What this could show is that at one point in their adult life and/or during their childhood years they experienced trauma, with the effects of this trauma being what is causing them to leave their body when they are around others.
As they have the tendency to disconnect from how they feel and to leave their body when they are around others, it is likely to illustrate that they experienced trauma during their early years. The reason for this is that they are primarily disconnecting from how they feel when they are around other people.
What these early experiences would have done is caused their mind to form certain associations around being in the company of others. Being around others would have come to be associated as something that wasn’t safe, hence why they leave their body around others.
But, as this took place when their brain wasn’t fully developed, they won’t be able to remember what took place now that they are an adult. One will then feel overwhelmed and leave their body (or they could just leave their body as soon as they come into contact with others, without even needing to feel overwhelmed), yet their conscious mind will have no idea about what is going on.
Without the memories to go with how they feel, it is to be expected that what is taking place won’t make any sense. Until the charge of this early trauma is dealt with, their mind will continue to disconnect them from their emotional self when they are around others to stop them from being overwhelmed and taken out by how they feel.
If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.