When it comes to how human beings communicate with each other, there are many different aspects involved. During those moments where one is face to face with another, it is not just what comes out of their mouth that matters.
If one was talking to someone through text, email or via social media, it would be completely different. In this instance, the words that one uses are the only thing that matter, but when it comes to talking to someone in person, the words that one uses are not as important.
On the internet, they’re the most important thing, but in the real world, they take a back seat so to speak. One doesn’t need to use words to communicate to another in the real world; they only need to express themselves in a certain way. Their body language and their facial expressions are going to reveal what someone is thinking and how they’re feeling.
So whether one is talking to another person or just around other people, their body and their face are always giving off signals. It is not possible for one to remain neutral, as they’re always going to be saying something.
But just because one is always communicating with others, even when their mouth is closed, it doesn’t mean that one is always aware of what they are sharing with others. At times, one could be completely unaware of what their body is showing or what their face is expressing.
This is something that is going to apply to everyone, as it is not going to be possible for someone to always be aware of themselves. There are going to be differences in how aware people are though.
In some cases, there are going to be people who are completely unaware of what they are communicating with the world and then there are going to be other people who are generally aware. It could also depend on the context that one is in, as to how aware they are.
If one is generally unaware of what their body is doing and how their face is responding, how other people respond to them can seem random and out of their control. This is not to say that one can control how other people respond, what it does mean is that one is not simply an observer.
Communication is a two-way process and while one can be unaware of what they’re communicating, it is still having an effect on now other people are responding to them. If, on the other hand, one is generally aware of the signals they’re giving out, the responses of others can be easier to understand.
It is said that a woman’s brain is different to a man’s brain in regards to having the ability to read emotions; women are said to have a greater ability to read emotions than men. As well as this, men are often taught to hide how they feel and women are taught to express how they feel.
Men often feel the need to look strong and to cover up what is going on for them at an emotional level. Whereas women don’t always have this outlook and this enables them to express how they feel.
So when one talks to another person, it is not just their words that matter, it is also what their face is showing. One could say all the right words, but unless their face matches up with that they’re saying their words can end up being dismissed or even ignored.
Even before one speaks to another person, it is their facial expression that will play a part in whether another person approaches them or how another person will end up responding to ones approach. Regardless of the differences between a man and a women’s brain when it comes to emotions, both genders can be emotionally expressive.
When one is able to be emotionally expressive, it will allow other people to know where they stand. This is because ones face is giving the other person the feedback they need to feel safe and at ease in their presence.
Without this feedback, other people could end up being suspicious and feel as though one is hiding something. It is also going to be a lot harder for one to form emotional connections with other people. Similar to how one would find it hard to feel emotionally connected to a statue.
There are exceptions to every rule and while some women will be emotional expressive and some men wont be, there are going plenty of men who are emotionally expressive and plenty women who are not. If one doesn’t feel safe to do something, then they’re unlikely to do it.
So when one is not emotionally expressive, it is likely to come down to the fact they don’t feel safe. This could be how one always is and yet, it could be something that only happens around certain people. At one point in time, one is going to have formed certain associations around being emotionally expressive.
So if one was to show how they feel, they might believe that they will be harmed, abandoned and/or rejected by others. And because they don’t feel safe when it comes to expressing how they feel, there is also the chance that they will have an emotional build up.
In some cases, one might be disconnected from their emotions and have very little awareness of how they feel. One is then emotionally undeveloped and therefore, they’re not emotionally unexpressive through choice, it is just how they have always been.
The experiences that one had as a child can often define whether one is emotionally expressive or not. For example: if one was brought up by a caregiver who mirrored their feelings and allowed them express them, then one is likely to be in touch with how they feel and feel that it is safe for them to show how they feel.
However, if one was brought up in an environment where it wasn’t safe to show their feelings and their feelings were not mirrored by their caregiver/s, then one can end up believing that it is not safe for them to show how they feel. This could have also caused one to be emotionally undeveloped and have no awareness of how they feel.
Firstly, one will need to feel safe and if they’re still carrying the emotional experiences of the past within them, it is going to be a challenge. It might be enough for them to change the beliefs in their mind, but if this is not enough, they will need to face and release the emotions that are trapped in their body.
If one is emotionally disconnected, they’re still likely to be carrying trapped emotions, but it will also be important for them to receive the attunement that they didn’t receive as a child. This attunement will enable one to gradually form a connection to their emotions.
Here, one is likely to need the assistance of a therapist or a healer; they will provide the positive regard that one needs to become emotionally developed and hold the space so that one can release the pain that is within them.
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Oliver J R Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.