If someone’s mind and emotions were settled and they felt at peace, they may wonder what it would be like to experience life in this way more often. Then again, thanks to how rarely they experience life in this way, they could be totally consumed by what is taking place.
Perhaps they have taken the time to be in nature or maybe they have had something to drink, for instance. Regardless of what it is that has allowed them to have a different inner experience, it will be a welcome relief from how they usually experience life.
If they were to think about how long they have been this way for, they may find that they have been this way for as long as they can remember. Consequently, this could just be seen as what they are like.
They may even believe that they were born this way, with it being part of their personality. Further, some of the people in their life could often describe them as being ‘highly strung’ or ‘a very anxious person’.
An Exhausting Existence
Whether they are at work or with friends, they could find it hard to feel at ease and, as they are typically not on stable ground, it probably won’t take a lot for them to overreact. Another person could say or do something and one could end up losing it.
What other people are exposed to will merely be an expression of what is taking place inside them. To look at this symbolically; their external eruptions will be an externalisation of the internal irruptions that are continually taking place.
So, there can be what happens when one is around others and there can be what takes place when they are way from others and are online. Just as what someone says in the real world can often cause them to react strongly; what someone says online can often lead to the same outcome.
In both cases, it might not take a lot for them to become highly emotional and to lose their ability to think rationally. When this happens, they could create the impression that they are missing something.
One Big Challenge
Being this way will make it hard for them to focus and they will experience a lot of unnecessary drama, in addition to generally being all at sea internally. Thus, so much of their precious energy and time is going to be squandered.
Still, there may be moments when they think that they are doing the right thing by getting worked up. At times, they might be, but there will probably be times when behaving in this way is not serving them.
One way of looking at this would be to say that they need to gain control of their mind and to develop ‘emotional intelligence’. Through doing this, they will settle down and be able to manage their emotions.
This will be based on the belief the mind defines how someone feels and emotional intelligence is an important part of having emotional control. However, what this approach would overlook is the fact that one most likely spends so much time in fight or flight mode because they are carrying trauma.
This means that what is taking place at a mental and emotional level will be a reflection of what is taking place at an instinctual or animal body level. Their body and mind will carry the charge or all of the energy that they experienced when they experienced trauma.
Dealing with what is going on further up might lead to short-term relief, but it probably won’t lead to long-term relief. As they are carrying all this trauma, their reptile brain will often end up overriding their emotional and thinking brain, which will stop them from being able to experience emotional control and to think clearly.
Out of Control
When this takes place, it will seem as though something else is in control of them as they will lose their free will. For them to settle down and to gradually gain control over themselves, they will need to work through the trauma that is inside them.
The big question is: why are they carrying this trauma, what happened to them? What this may illustrate is that their early years were anything but nurturing, with this being a stage of their life when they were abused and/or neglected on a regular basis.
A Living Hell
The safety and security that they needed at this time wouldn’t have been provided. Instead, they would have had to handle a deeply challenging environment at a time when they were ill-equipped to do so.
They would have often felt overwhelmed and there might not have been anywhere around to soothe them. At this stage of their life, they would have had the ability to regulate their own emotions and so, their main way to handle what was going on would have been to dissociate.
What happened would have left a mark on every part of their being and the issues that they have as an adult will be a clear sign of what they went through as a child. Nonetheless, without this understanding, it can seem as though they just lack ‘self-control’, ‘emotional intelligence’ and/or are ‘irrational’, or another term that completely misses the mark.
If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
To book your free 15-minute consultation, click here.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
Child Abuse And Neglect - How To Heal From Child Abuse And Neglect