It has been said that even though someone will change physically as time passes, it doesn’t mean they will change emotionally. As a result of this, their emotional age might not match up with their physical age.
If one believes that they will feel different as time passes, it is going to be hard for them to understand what they feel as they do. But while this could cause them to experience frustration, they might believe that their life will soon change.
It might then be possible for them to carry on with their life and to overlook how they feel; however, this can all depend on what is taking place within them. Based on how they feel, they might not be able to simply carry on as normal.
The ideal will then be for them to reach out for support and to find out what they can do to experience life differently. This is because if one’s emotional development hasn’t changed; it is a clear sign that they need to do something about it.
At the same time, this doesn’t mean that one won’t be able to help themselves once they find out what they need to do. Yet the first thing will be for them to gain a deeper understanding of what is actually taking place.
But while this is the ideal, it doesn’t mean that one will get this far, and this is because they could end up suffering in silence. Through experiencing life in this way for so long, they could believe that is just how life is.
It is then something that they have become accustomed to and there is then not much chance of them doing anything about it. They could end up finding other ways to change how they feel and while this may only allow them to feel better for short time; it could be seen as the only option they have.
So through using other ways to change how they feel, other people might not even notice what is taking place. On one hand, this could be because they are good at hiding this part of their lives, and on the other hand, it could be because what they do is seen as ‘normal’.
For example, one could change how they feel through exercising, drinking, having casual encounters and/or eating too much. Along With this, they could also create the impression that everything is fine and this is then going to make it harder for them to receive the right support.
When one ends up finding ways to change how they feel, it is going to mean that they are unable to step back from what is taking place. As a result, they are being controlled by their emotions and it is not possible for them to think clearly.
Through being this way, it could take a while before their life changes; that’s unless someone else is able to pick up on what is happening, for instance. In this case, another person may realise what is happening and offer their support.
The Next Step
If they were to get the chance to open up to someone about what is taking place, they could say that they have felt the same way for quite some time. And through feeling the same, there is also the chance that their life has ended up staying the same.
Therefore, even though they want to experience life differently, they are unable to do anything about it. This could cause them to feel hopeless and they might wonder if their life will ever change.
A Closer Look
They could also be asked about what kind of emotional experience they usually have and when they first started to feel as they do. During this time, one could say that they often feel sad and/or powerless, among other things.
Along with this, they may also say that they don’t feel like an adult and how they feel more like a child. In this case, it is going to mean that their physical development has far exceeded their emotional development.
A Number of Years
However, it might not go back this far and one could say that they first started to feel this way during their adult years. At first, they might not remember why they felt this way but after a while it might come to them.
This could relate to a time when someone in their life past on or a relationship came to an end and although they were in pain, they didn’t take the time to grieve the loss. In the short-term they may have been able to carry on as normal, but as time passed it was no longer possible for them to avoid what was taking place within them.
If they have felt his way since their younger years, it could be a sign that their needs were rarely, if ever, met. This would have meant that they didn’t get what they needed to get in order to develop.
As a result of this, it would have caused them to experience a lot of pain, and all the time this pain stays within them, it is not going to be possible for them to feel like an adult. So whether it relates to what happened during one’s adult years and/or what took place during their childhood, it will be important for this pain to be processed.
Through experiencing loss, one is likely to be carrying grief and one way to let go of this pain will be to cry it out. As to how long this will take can depend on how much grief one is carrying within them and how often they cry.
This is a process that can take place with the assistance of a therapist and/or a support group. Through this support, one can also receive the positive regard that they need in order to develop.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.